[someguy83]

Anyway I decided to go back to college a 2nd time .My job is OK but it a dead end job and it is nothing I am passion at about doing forever. Retail sucks and I do not like it at all so it was time to do something new. Working night crew for the rest of my life is no fun and there no wear to go in retail.My job just does not pay well like $18 an hour will not feed a family even working full time.

I have only be getting 3 to 4 hours of sleep a night with a nap in between .
here is my weekly schedule.

work: sun-fri - 11:30 pm till 8:30 am

class taking two class 10:30am till 1:30pm mon-wed-fri
study mon-wed-fri 2pm till 6pm
study tue - thurs 10 am till 6pm
sleep at 7pm every night and get up at 10:50 pm

weekends i do not work but get up at 6am and study until 10am and eat then go to the library until 6pm and go home to study some more .

Sacrificing sleep to become successful and no time for a girlfriend ,no time for friends or family and giving up every thing not related to work or studying.

The desire to feel like i am not a loser drives me. I don't know if that's the healthiest thing—to be motivated by a fear of hating yourself, but it helps .

I'm constantly tortured by a sense of failure.When I'm feeling in a darker place, my perception is that everything sucks and even though I've done this, it seems I should have done more. Trying to stay grateful helps.

Anyway last weeks was crazy I felt good going to work then drove to school and felt like crying did some of that in the car got it together then went to class left school and was happy as can be.

On a good week I will get 30 hours of sleep on a bad week 21 hours of sleep.

I take adderall 30 mg and I have tried provigil it keeps you up for 22 hours I need to work and go to class.

So is this life style making me depressed? I feel crap by weeks end and emotionally drained by weeks end. What can I do not to feel depressed other then sleep more.

[adam_k]

I worked full time and went to college full time. I can say it didn't help my depression. A lot of the time I felt mentally and physically drain. I felt like a zombie through most of it. I would try to get as close to 8 hours of sleep as you can. I think lack of sleep can lead feeling sad and exhausted.

[someguy83]

Originally Posted by adam_k

I worked full time and went to college full time. I can say it didn't help my depression. A lot of the time I felt mentally and physically drain. I felt like a zombie through most of it. I would try to get as close to 8 hours of sleep as you can. I think lack of sleep can lead feeling sad and exhausted.

yea i feel like crying some times but I have to fight through it . I normal just tell my self to man up and keep on fighting until I have nothing more left.

Hello, Someguy83, and welcome.

You're playing with fire treating yourself as you are. You "battery" needs charging by your getting enough sleep at night that is REM sleep. It's no wonder that you feel fatigued, depressed, (I would guess that you can hardly concentrate on classes
when you attend.)

You need to decide which you want to do: to work, attend one class on a weekend, get your rest, study for that one class. Save your money. When you have saved
enough to provide for yourself in a dorm at college and complete your work, do it
that way.

Even borrowing the money on student loans with the U.S. government will get you
a break from the routine you are living to try to attend school and work 8 hours a day.

You can break psychologically with the schedule that you have now.

Why not go in to talk to the head of the counseling department where you are a student and ask about loans; what's available through the U.S government, or
private scholarships awarded to needy students.

Take care of the finances first, then go for the education in my view.
Chances are you wouldn't need to be on any medication at all if you adjust your
living and student life in a more reasonable and workable level. You really can't do
both without sufferng as you are.

Keep well and take care of yourself first. Do that and you'll be successful no matter what.

[Leed]

I'm not so sure that lack of sleep makes you depressed, but it sure doesn't help. There's usually some underlying issue that causes depression -- in my case, I'm clinically depressed. The hormones/minerals/etc., that are needed in the brain are lacking and have to be replaced by anti-depressants. So I've been on anti-depressants for probably 40 years now. And I'll be on it till I die.

Have you been in therapy? If not, you may want to think about it. There, you'll find out what it is that you're dealing with - what are your issues, and what you've been carrying around for years that's tormenting you. Have your doctor refer you to a good therapist. You won't regret it.

Best of luck and God bless. Hugs, Lee