[everydaysadness]

During high school, i moved to 3 different states and went to 6 different schools, with the last time during my senior year of high school. Needless to say, i didn't get to graduate with my "friends"- which i had/have none of anyway- and my parents didn't even show up to my graduation, probably because they were to busy getting a divorce at the time to even notice me. I became extremely depressed because i felt like i had missed out on my teenage years that i would have done anything to have those years back. Well one day i saw an ad for an art school that accepted everyone and for some reason i felt like maybe it was my chance to get all those years and experiences i missed out on back. I went to meet with the "admissions" person- who i now know is nothing more then a recruiter who gets paid by the amount of students they admit- and she played the part well and actually made me believe i was talented & was intelligent. She made me believe i could make money from my artwork and said paying back my student loan would be easy. I had been so depressed and my self esteem was so low that i was foolish enough to believe it.

I went for less then a year because the campus was unsafe, i ended up being drugged even though i wasn't partying at all. And yes some bad things happened to me while i was drugged which give me nightmares and panic attacks to this day, but i don't really feel like talking about that. Somehow i racked up $30,000 in student loan debt in that short amount of time, but because of that night i became so broken that i didn't say anything to anyone - i just left school and left a good majority of my things in my dorm. I went to go live with the only friend i had.

To keep my story as short as possible, i basically couldn't find a job and was in and out of homelessness. When i did find a job it was min wage & i would send the student loan people pretty much my entire check. Well i lost my job because my father became ill and they were not willing to hold my job for me if i went to visit him across the country because i was easily replaceable. This was 4 years ago and i don't regret it because it was the last time I'd ever see my father- he died 6 months ago this week.

I basically haven't paid them anything for almost 3 years now and i don't even know how to get ahold of them anyway. I have been jobless and homeless on and off and at the beginning i tried to "defere" the payments on my loan but they wanted me to pay for that too, even though i told them i had no money to begin with!

My credit is so messed up that i have been denied housing AND jobs. Everyday my depression workers because i can't live like every other descent person lives. I've met multiple felons who live better lives then this. I am currently living in a rented shack in the ghetto because that's the best i could get. I live with mice, bugs, mold and leaky pipes with no hot water. Anything better then this costs around $1000+ per month, which i can't even imagine being able to afford even if i did have the credit. Even roommates do credit checks. I have spent so many days starving that i can't even count them all anymore.

I don't know what to do anymore & there's nothing i can really do unless i hit the lottery. Higher education was without a doubt the WORST decision of my life, and i feel like they took advantage of me and my situation. Thank you for taking the time to read this, I'm 24 and i feel like I'm going to lose my mind...

[layla11]

Hi Everydaysadness, I'm sorry your having such a hard time. Ive been through some pretty tuff times myself. Just a couple of ideas, you may know this already, but most of churchs have a food help program. Don't feel bad if you don't attend, I did it when I was younger and they didn't care. The food bank also is a idea.
Don't give up things will get better.

[Sam2]

Depending on who is holding your loans, there are ways of getting around the problems. I didn't go to college until I was 27, and by the time I finished, had over $120,000 of student loans. (undergraduate and graduate). Three years after I left school and had a great job, a pain condition I had markedly worsened and my income plummeted to below the poverty level.

Here are some things to check.
If you don't know who holds your loans ie salliemae etc, call the school you went to. They probably have records and though it may take some brow beating, they should be able to find the information for you.

Call the loan officer who holds your loan, and tell them about the problems you are having. Make sure to get their name, agent number, and record the time and date you made the call. Ask them to send you a form for income sensitive repayment. Those are based on how much you make each month. Many loans will also give you a grace period if you don't have a job.

Realize that most of those grace periods and income sensitive repayment plans are going to warn you that the interest is accruing daily. Don't worry about that. There isn't anything you can do about it and its not worth pulling your hair out. (I've been out of school for close to 2 decades and still owe over $50,000). IF you fixate on that, it will drive you insane.

Even if you can't get an income sensitive loan repayment plan, send anything, even if it is $5. That shows a willingness to try and work with them.

After 25 years, anything left on your loan is automatically resorbed by the company holding your loan. I forget when that law came into effect, and its probably a long way off for you anyway.

To help rebuild your credit. Get a really cheap credit card, one that doesn't require annual fees. Get just a very small line of credit, say $1,000. and then start using it to buy extremely cheap things. Say, a pair of socks. something you know for a fact that you can pay the entire sum for when the bill comes. Each time you pay the entire bill, it helps re-establish your credit. Just don't fall to the temptation to use the card for something bigger. If you can't pay for it at the time of purchase, don't use the card for it. Credit cards are nice, but if you pay the minumum balance, you wind up paying far more than the item cost to begin with. So, you get your card, go to say, walmart, get a two dollar pair of socks and charge it. When the bill comes at the end of the month, pay the whole two dollars. Does that make sense? (Sometimes I think I'm making sense when I'm not).

Good luck with the loans. There are far better things to worry about. Worst case scenerio would be for them to take you to court and garnish your wages. If you aren't making anything, guess what, there isn't anything there to garnish. There are people out there owning hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of loans after medical school and graduate school, and those loans are due whether the people are able to get a job in their field or not. Your loan is probably small potatoes to the loan people. That doesn't mean just blow it off, because that just makes it harder for others to get loans, but it does mean, put it in perspective.

Sam2