[RealDeal]

Hi there,

I know that many people suffer the same problem; I read about it in the internet but could not get the proper answer... So I would like to share my experience and be very kind for your comments and advise.

A couple of months ago I almost totally lost interest in most of the things I love, i.e. listening to music, playing video games, watching cinema etc. I’m a big fan of hip hop music and culture in general. I have a vinyl collection, a turntable and a mixer; I used to listen to my records almost every day in the evening after work and search for new ones on the web, besides I listened to music digitally in my jukebox, and purposely bought special headphones for the better sound. But right now I feel like I don’t want to do it anymore, like it does not make me happy, only occasionally. When I try to listen to music, I feel like something inside rejects it. I even feel unhappy when I dress like I used to. The problem is that hip hop used to be my lifestyle; I travelled overseas for the shows and festivals, visited domestic concerts, used to contact people of the same interest. I remember how I used to read a hip hop book in September 2012 and listened to the music related to it, I felt really involved. But suddenly I felt like I’m not that person any more. And it makes me so sad. I try to get that feeling back but most of the time something blocks it from the inside. The same thing happened to my other hobbies such as gaming or watching cinema. I don’t want to buy new games or new movies. When I listen to music or watch movies I feel like it’s a waste of time, sometimes I think like people say pointless or even stupid things.

Please share your opinion could that be depression or just I’m getting old? I’m 26 years old now. I want to get my excitement and passion back, I just feel like an empty person without all my hobbies, totally unhappy and sad.

I’m having some mental illnesses like obsessive thought and had panic attacks about a year and so ago. I used to take some medication – anti-depressants (sertraline) and anti-psychotic – to cure the panic attacks. I stopped taking pills in October 2012 except for a small dosage of sertraline (25 mg/daily) which I still take, because my panic attacks have gone and my mental feelings became much better, especially after summer vacations (by the way we were at the Hip Hop Festival in Czech and I was totally excited). Maybe that’s somehow connected to my medication withdrawal… I don’t know. But I would like to get my interest and hobbies back and be the same person like 3 or 4 months ago!

Your advise would be highly appreciated!

Many thanks,

Alex

[montanan4ever]

Hi Alex. Who recommended that you stop your meds? Did you do it yourself? Who is supervising your medication regimen?

I don't have any advice to give. However I second what Montanan has said. I may "piggyback ride" with you on this thread.

Depression can make you lose interest in the things that you were passionate with before. I feel like I'm going through that. I worked out for a number of years, but lately I have backed off from it. I was going to start today, but I came up with an excuse not to. So I'll try next time. Also I was passionate about bike riding, but lately I don't feel like doing that, too. I still keep it up, but I really push myself into doing it. I've done those things for many years and it feels old to me now.

That's pretty much what I have to say. Sorry that I don't have any advice.

[wishingtobegentle]

wow, realdeal, i'm a musician and music has been such a huge part of my life for decades (i'm in my 40s) and i have gone through periods of this, as well. to be honest, i'm still trying to understand whether it's depression or not, too. but hang in there, be true to yourself, and if you're mindful about your approach to your mental health then you're doing all you can.

[TheRealFDeal]

It does sound like depression. But it also sounds like whatever happened a couple of months ago coincides with your reduction in meds. Maybe you need to take a look at that. Did anything else happen?

[RealDeal]

Thanks everybody!

Hi Alex. Who recommended that you stop your meds? Did you do it yourself? Who is supervising your medication regimen?

Yes I did it myself. I felt like panic attacks have gone so I want to leave drugs. I did it gradually, at first I cut half of my SSRI and left my anti-psychotics in october (and in December I started losing interest). My medical regime was also supervised on my own. The doctor told me to continue taking meds, but since I felt OK I decided to quit. I called him about it and he told me to cut the meds only if I definitely feel good. I was feeling good, but at the same time I still had these obsessive thoughts. In any case since the summer were coming and I wanted to have a nice time off meds I decided to gradually leave it.

Recently I've started visiting a psychotherapist, who told me that it's rather depression than a maturity or smthing else and it's most likely connected to withdrawal from drugs.

I still keep it up, but I really push myself into doing it. I've done those things for many years and it feels old to me now.

That's exactly how it is. I want and still do that but it really feels irrelevant or sometimes even stupid or pointless to me.

Did anything else happen?

Nothing else happened. No any dramatic changes. Maybe it's also a winter what enhance this condition.

[RealDeal]

Hi, everybody! Just to update, I started Zoloft insted of the drug I used to take. And I feel some difference now. Hope it will only get better!