[frownupsidedown]

I've had depression for a long time (close to 15 years). I'm a 40 year old woman but feel like I've never emotionally reached adulthood. I'm independent, pay my own bills, have my own home, but just never felt like a grown-up. Has anyone else felt this way? Could it be a part of my depression problems?

I always wonder if I feel this way because my parents have never acknowledged me as an adult and I've had few relationships. But who knows what causes what--the ol' chicken or the egg problem...

Oh Yes I certainly do, I was only saying this the other day in the borderline forum, I still feel like a child and I sometimes still act like one too

[lonelyemotionalgirl]

I know completely how you feel! I honestly almost posted something similar to this yesterday! I feel like I am stuck in childhood. I do not have interest in any adult things, and I believe that is why I can never make friends, or hang out with people younger than me. I do not know why I feel this way, or why you feel this way, but I just try to enjoy the way I am, even if nobody my age is the same way. It is okay to not act emotionally like a grown-up. My advice is to try something new. Even if the new thing feels strange because it is outside of your "norm," just try it to see if you feel any different. I am always here to talk if you need anything.

[onlytime]

I can definitely relate! I had a T who thinks that our emotional growth is stunted once we develop depression/an eating disorder/substance abuse issues/whatever. Since my eating disorder (and subsequent depression) started when I was 12, according to her, I'm still at that stage emotionally and that part of recovery is "catching up".

[adam_k]

I feel this way often. I often feel like a scared teenager. I'm 28 know, have a wife and job, but sometimes I still feel like that scared depressed teen I was.

I feel that I have never grown up. I have never been married and have not had a relationship in a long, long time. So many people around my age are all settled in or I have not experienced what they have.

On the positive side, I do feel very young at heart. I work out and go bike riding. My doctor tells me that I'm in fabulous shape for a guy my age. Plus I look younger than my age. People are shocked when I tell them my age.

[shortandcute]

Originally Posted by onlytime

I can definitely relate! I had a T who thinks that our emotional growth is stunted once we develop depression/an eating disorder/substance abuse issues/whatever. Since my eating disorder (and subsequent depression) started when I was 12, according to her, I'm still at that stage emotionally and that part of recovery is "catching up".

Well, that would certainly make sense to me. My depression started somewhere between 10 and 12, and often I don't feel much older than that now.

[-jimi-]

I feel about 15 years younger than my actual age. For good and bad.

[allimsaying]

The way I look at this is this: If you take a tree sapling and make a one inch cut in it, it stops to grow in that place while the rest of the tree can go on to grow and become healthy. Whats missing is all that tree could have been, a lessening of the shade it could provide, a loss of its mini eco system. People are not trees. We can grow in places we've been hurt but we need to recognize that place, do honor to it and ourselves, and lovingly nurture our self back to wholeness, restoring our own mini eco system and bringing ourselves and our own small world back into health.

[frownupsidedown]

Originally Posted by allimsaying

The way I look at this is this: If you take a tree sapling and make a one inch cut in it, it stops to grow in that place while the rest of the tree can go on to grow and become healthy. Whats missing is all that tree could have been, a lessening of the shade it could provide, a loss of its mini eco system. People are not trees. We can grow in places we've been hurt but we need to recognize that place, do honor to it and ourselves, and lovingly nurture our self back to wholeness, restoring our own mini eco system and bringing ourselves and our own small world back into health.

Thank you for this...very beautiful way of looking at things...