[wanty]

Hard to explain the "terror of emptiness". It is smothering, paralizing, a feeling of being trapped. Nothing good will ever happen again. My life is over. There is nothing to look forward to.

[Travelinglady]

wanty, I think most of us here have felt that way at some point. But then we find there is something to live for.

Have you talked to a mental-health professional lately? Are you on meds? It sounds like you do need something to snap you out of this way of thinking. Okay?

[HonestlyLying]

Originally Posted by wanty

Hard to explain the "terror of emptiness". It is smothering, paralizing, a feeling of being trapped. Nothing good will ever happen again. My life is over. There is nothing to look forward to.

Sorry you aren't better off but I do know exactly where you're at. I come to that same place frequently.

Hang in there if you can for the alternative is eternal and forever fearful.

I'm sure someone somewhere loves you greatly and wants ot fill you with some warmth and hope.

Love and hope,
Lauren

[wanty]

Thanks Payne1 & HonestlyLying. Just had 2 of my granddaughters for a sleepover. They are 7 & 10 yrs old. I love them fiercely! Love to treat them. Went to Mcdonalds for lunch, McFlurries for dessert. Then to the SPCA to pet kitties & puppies. They love that even when they have their own. When they are older their friends will take over their time. I fear being left over, no longer important in anyone's life.

Oh, they'll always love you, Wanty. You can count on that. Please relax and enjoy
this time in their lives. They will be returning to you off and on as long as they live.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by wanty

I fear being left over, no longer important in anyone's life.

My grandfather did wonderful things for me, most especially filling my mind and imagination with ideas that move me to this day. Yes, a time came when friends and the activities of youth and young adulthood greatly limited my time with him, but he and his universe never left me.

What you've done for your granddaughters may blossom in ways you cannot now foresee.

[wanty]

Thank you all for your kind words. My Doc is away. Can't see her till March 26. Don't know what will happen to me, so down, down, down. Family going for winter holiday. Just me & husband at home. He has a hard time with my depression. Supportive up to a point. Better to keep to myself. Saw friend today. She had an appointment so not much time together. All doom, defeat, despair. Lots of people have way more reason to feel bad. I shouldn't be like this. WHY! WHY! WHY!!!

[RJ78]

Hey Wanty,

It's an illness, it has little to do with your external world - meaning, whether or not you have a lot or very little. We have what we have, just remember it's not your doing nor does it help to compare ourselves to others who aren't depressed and "worse" off. I have spent days, if not weeks of my life just on those thoughts - why can't I be more like them. And trust me, your granddaughters don't want you to be any different from the sounds of it!

That's a long time to wait for your doc...can you access any other services/professionals in the meantime? I went to a community mental health clinic recently and it was a really good experience - depression support group and access to a variety of professionals much more quickly than if I had through my physician.

RJ