My parents are angry at me for being depressed.

I'm 16 and have been suffering from depression for a while. My parents are mad at me and my relationship with them is not so good anymore.

I basically hid my depression from them. I would go in the bathroom and cry or cry myself to sleep. It wasn't until I was at a very very low point that I reached out for help. The hot line I contacted ended up informing my parents who were enraged.

After the incident which was a few months ago I pretended I was getting better and put a happy mask on. It ended up getting too much for me so I had a break down and talked to a teacher I was close to. She informed my parents who again, were not happy.

Yesterday they caught me upset and my dad started yelling at me. Calling me selfish and ungrateful. I have two younger brothers and he said too much time is invested in one child (me) and if a parent had three children like me they would be su-uh-si-dul (don't like typing the word). Because I'm from a fairly wealthy family they think that because I have many materialistic goods I'm being ungrateful and shouldn't ever be unhappy. But I'm unhappy for so many more reasons.

He says I brought this all on myself and my parents just aren't fond of me anymore.

They don't understand. I've tried so hard. I can't help feeling this way. I'm sad for deeper reasons. And I don't understand why they keep accusing me of being selfish and 'me me me' when I do my best to hide it from them and hid it from them for a long time. I didn't want them to suffer but they resent me for it.

It just makes everything worse when your parents pretty much hate you. Please help.

Hi messedupteen,

First, let me say how sorry I am for you that you're going through this. Teen years are very hard and having this on top of the 'normal' feelings you would be having isnt helping much.

You show some good insight in saying that they just dont understand. They dont. I didnt share my depression with my dad or step mom. They wouldnt have understood either. They would have told me to just toughen up and deal with it, that life is hard. So I didnt tell them, and yes, you bet, without a parents support, life is much harder than it might have been otherwise. Being cut off and disconnected from someone who you would think is in your corner isnt going to make things any easier but I think by understanding that they dont understand, youre making a good first step towards accepting yourself at time when self acceptance is really important. My suggestion is for you to forgive them if you can and keep working on finding ways to work through your depression without their help. At least for the time being.

Youve learned about yourself that you have a capacity to feel something that others dont.It can feel like a curse, but in many ways it isnt. As long as you recognize that you most likely arent going to fit in with those other 'non feeling' people, you can prepare yourself against some of those 'I dont fit in' worries. Find people you do fit in with. These are going to be the people who do have feelings.

Can you go back to the teacher you turned to before and explain to her what happened at home and ask for a second round of advice? Or another adult? You need to find an understanding ear. You can post here at PC as much as you like and I hope you find it helpful.

Welcom to PsychCentral! Hello messedupteen! I will be back later. browser on phone keeps crashing. :-(

OK, I will just add that in this section are phone numbers that are support for getting info for what resources are available for you.

If you google teenager crisis then you can come up with chat lines that can help you. I believe there would be a live person who could help as well.

There are members here, as well, around your age, so it's a matter of waiting to if they will leave message with you at your profile page.

Oh, I'm sorry that you're going thru all this. I agree that being a teenager is hard enough, but when you're dealing with other issues, like depression or whatever, it is a lot harder. I moved in with my sister and her husband when I was 16, and they gave me the same load of c&@p--I was ungrateful, felt sorry for myself etc.

I agree with researching that website for teens. There is also another one I just referred my daughter to called teenhelp.org Have you tried just sitting down with one or the other, the one to whom you feel closest, and as having a chat one on one? Depression almost always has a physical cause much like diabetes or strep throat and it needs treatment, whether that be counseling, medication or both. My own daughter is diagnosed with depression and anxiety so I understand your need for help. If you have already tried that or it doesn't work either, what about calling your doctor and explaining your situation to the nurse? Maybe he or she could give you advice, or have your doctor speak with your parents. My goes out to you friend. I am praying for you and sending you lots of !

Nancy

i am 15, and i can honestly tell you that i can relate to keeping depression a secret from parents. i am really sorry that your parents don't understand what you're going through...mine don't either. they have no idea that i am not in a good place now. i am also surprised that your teacher told your parents about your conversation. i have a teacher that i have talked to about DEEP stuff and he has never said a word to my parents about it. i even told him about my si, mental issues and a bunch of other emotional stuff. can you see a therapist at school?

feel free to PM me anytime... it is nice to talk to people our own age :-)

--Sam

Yes, that a really tough situation, but in your writing you seem so mature and thoughtful. Remember, your parents don't understand and are treating you quite unfairly. This isn't about you, as much as may seem like it is. One thing that helped me reconnect with my parents was when I provided them with resources (written) for families of people with depression. I sent it to them by email and at a later time went through some of the stuff with them. It wasn't a solution, but it opened the lines of communication in ways that have proven very helpful.

I don't know if that's appropriate with your own parents at this point, but I also agree with allimsaying re: speaking with other adults, perhaps a physician?

RJ

It's hard for me to say, but it almost sounds like part of the reason they are angry is because you hid it from them. Regardless what the situation is, I hope you can find the help you need here.

I'm sorry you are going through this now. I had a very similar situation with my dad when I told him first about my eating disorder, then when he found out about my si.
Is it possible for you to approach the teacher again, as suggested, or maybe go to a guidance counselor and talk to them about your depression and the reaction from your parents? The suggestion to go to your doctor is also a good one...

It's very hard to try to seek help, especially when you have had such horrible experiences when asking for help. I hope you can find some support...

I'm so sorry.. Sometimes I feel like that my family doesn't understand my depression, even though deep they probably do understand.. That's why I only talk to a few selected people about my depressions like friends and they are usually the friends who do have it..

How sad ...

Sorry you're having to go through this without their understanding and support.

I can relate some. I'm a teen and suffer from depression, my parents were blind to it until my school got involved. Yet my parents don't believe that anything is true, they refuse to let me be diagnosed. They think I'm good and happy, while I'm totally shut down from everything, totally numb . Glad you got to speak to someone. Is a therapist a possibility for you? Welcome to pc and hang in there.((hugs))

My heart goes out to you. Your dad is behaving wrong. I love you.

My family feels like they don't know i have depression too because they have been giving me a hard time. It also feels like my doctor hasn't sort of like educate them about my condition. I feel for you. I am 16 too, been having depression for a yeas already .

I know exactly what you mean when you say that material goods cannot make you happy. I feel like I have been given everything material, yet still I get depressed a lot. You need to find your passion in life. Pursue it and you will again feel happiness. Good luck!