1 baby step forward 5 giant leaps back

The people that i have met here haven been so helpful. I was feeling hopeful that I could get help and then it all comes crashing down. I was talking to my sister last night and told her that I was going to find a therapist to help me. Then she has to remind me not to tell anyone especially my parents that I've decided this. Despite the fact that I did see a doc when I was younger (it was a recommendation by my school) my parents don't really believe depression is an illness. I was hoping that I would get support and I have spent all night crying and doubting that anything is going to change. After my sis told me that I withdrew and told her that I need to go and hung up the phone. She texts me and asks if she said something wrong. With the conversation we just had how could I say yes? I told her I was fine, and there goes the pretending once more. I feel weak and hopeless. The desire to go on is fading fast.

This is why I say, I had to make a decision not to conform to my mother's chosen limitations. Now you have to make the same decision. It's hard. But human progress is made by each generation going farther than the previous one did. Not by doing less.

Hi rockabyebaby!

Let go and let God.

God grant the serenity to accept the things you can not change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

You have explained that you value the support of your parents and sister as described in your post.

You know what needs to be done. You have to do what's best for you.

I'm sure you know about the information here at PC. Depression forum has links to online topics of interest, there is a social club that relates to depression, at top of this web are two icons "Conditions" and "Resources". All these lead to more info on depression.

I hope you can go to a therapist. You can return to get support and express your feelings here at PC. If you have any questions, you can ask one of the community liaisons, including myself.