[celtic.starlite]

I am feeling lost and lonely right now and the ironic thing is that even though I'm feeling lonely, I don't want to be around anyone. The depression has come and I just want to isolate myself from the world. Would anybody even notice? Too much has been happening and I just want to hide. I don't want to be swallowed up in the dark hole and I am falling deeper into it. I can grab on to something but it only holds me for a short time before letting me fall deeper into the dark. It has been a long time since I've fallen into the dark hole, and now I fear I have nobody/nothing to help pull me out, and I fear how deep I might fall.

[allimsaying]

Try to hang in there celtic

[yoslos12]

I have found that's what depression is sometimes. Being alone and not wanting to be around people still. There's always ups and downs with life and when depressed, it feels more like downs than ups. The fact that you're posting here means you're reaching out and that deep down, you really do want to get better. And you know that it will. I personally promise you that it will get better.

Hang in there,

yoslos12

[frownupsidedown]

Just want you to know that you not only described yourself, but me as well. I do the same thing when I get extremely depressed--I isolate and it feels like pulling teeth to get myself to take that first step out of my apartment. I've been there too....keep trying....

If you're isolating, chances are you're not getting a healthy diet. You might want to be alert to what you are eating, particularly things that create high acidity, such as coffee, tea, chocolate, wheat flour products, milk products. Eat more green vegetables, salads (have one each day, please). Drink water. Avoid alcohol, beer, caffeine.

Improving your alkalinity can have a very uplifting effect on feeling tone. Things you do at home to improve your conditions will bring you out of the depression faster. See your psychiatrist soon. Maybe a tweaking of your meds is called for, too.

Hope you're feeling better soon.

[celtic.starlite]

Thank you, everyone for the replies. I have lived with depression for many years, and I have been pretty far down the hole in the past. In the last couple of years I have been able to keep myself from falling so deep. I am not on meds anymore for the depression because the doctors think it's not necessarily a chemical imbalance but more of a physical issue. Growing up I was not allowed to have feelings unless I felt what I was told to feel, so I learned to stuff those feelings which lead to being depressed. In the last few years I've been working hard by myself, as well as with doctors and friends (who have been through similar situations) to learn how to feel and what I'm feeling. I've been learning that it is okay to have emotions and to show my emotions. I know what is causing this depression, and I know that I need to work through it. It is just really hard right now. Today, was a good day, and I do feel much better, but I can feel the depression still there, so I know I'm not completely out of the hole yet. My diet is very healthy, but thank you for the reminder. I can tell you that had certain things been in my house I probably would have made the mistake of resorting to their comfort. I really do appreciate all the kind words you all have shared here for me. You are all wonderful!! I do apologize if at times I do not make sense. I am terrible at putting what's in my head down in writing and even worse at talking it out. Thank you all again.

"I can tell you that had certain things been in my house I probably would have made the mistake of resorting to their comfort." Are you possibly talking about alcohol, for instance? If that's it (and that's a wild guess) you are very, very smart to keep it out of your home, because alcohol is a depressant and it makes depression worse.

As an after thought, I would add that many doctors now consider alcohol sensitivity to be an allergy, so please don't ever resort to that to self-medicate. See your
therapist, please, if that urge hits you and let him tweak your medications temporarily.

If I'm wrong on that, please accept my apology, but those things that you might
have resorted to are important in your well-being and the fact that you make an
effort to keep them out of your home is very important.

Take care and please continue to post as you wish.