help, please!!

My sister ripped me a new one this morning. She crossed the line squarely into Mom territory, purposely poked a very sore spot and didn't think twice about it, just kept telling me about everything I do wrong and how bad I suck.

I had what I thought was a great, 2nd interview yesterday for a job I really wanted. When I left, the guy asked his secretary to set up an appointment for me with another person, leading me to believe I was moving forward in the process. I just got the EMAIL rejection form letter.

I have been very fragile lately anyway, but I am now officially shattered into a zillion pieces and deep into the abyss. If you are familiar with CBT techniques, my core belief is that I am a worthless piece of *****. I have made a lot of progress, to the point that more days than not I can believe I am OK, or at least fake myself into believing it. Today is not one of them. At this point, this LIFE is not one of them. I've been feeling like a fraud, and now I know I am, and everybody who has ever told me or demonstrated to me what a worthless piece of ***** I am is absolutely correct.

I would say I don't deserve to be walking around on this planet, but I don't WANT to be walking around on this planet. (No, that's not a suicide threat.) I want my own space back. I want to be able to crawl into a hole when I need to crawl into a hole, and not take crap for it. I want somebody to just freaking UNDERSTAND me. I feel like nobody even tries. They just think I'm weird and wrong in the way I go about my life and try to change it when I don't think it needs changing. And I'm too much of a wimp to stand up for myself, because god forbid I rock the boat, you know?



Candy

I'm sorry Candybear. You are not alone and you are not a piece of *****. You just need a break so you could be independent and regain some confidence. Hang in there. I know it's hard but you have to keep trying.

((((((((((((candybear))))))))), just wanted to offer my support.

yes candybear it hurts when a sibling make such hurtfull remarks. even tho your doing your best to get better...: /
everytime my brothers get angry they throw out such comments.
hang in there.
(((hugs)))
-telb

(((( candy )))))
No, you are NOT a worthless piece of sh#t.
I'm so sorry people intentionally make you feel like that. My parents and siblings do it all the time to me. I know it's hard, but try to ignore those things she said to you. You have been a good friend to me here... and I KNOW you are a good person. Please let me know if you need to talk.. PM me anytime.

Hi Candybear,
Job hunting is really tough when you're already feeling bad and then you get the rejections on top of it.
If you had a second interview with them then you must not have done too badly.
Your sister sounds mean. How old is she, 12?
It sounds like she's got some kind of a bug up her butt-she's probably feeling bad about herself so she cuts you down to make herself feel better.
I'm really sorry for that-I know it must really hurt.
Please don't buy into it, though.
(((((((Candybear))))))

You are not alone, you just describe my feelings. You have to take it day my day. You are not worthless. I always try to think that people say rotten things to make themselves feel better. Hang in there and take it day by day.

Job hunting is hard, I have had more than my shares of rejections. But don't give up