[heathery]

So I realy thought that I was going to get through being depressed I went out of state and got away for 2 weeks and never once was I sad untill the day that i left but now im back an I couldnt be moer depressed I just dont get it. I know that must mean something but who really knows anymroe. Im at that point again where I am ready just to give up for good but who knows any suggestions to help me out through all this!?!?!?

[(JD)]

It could be that what you experience is "exogenous" depression. This means that you are depressed because of outside circumstances. It also means that you are reactive to your surroundings and the events in your life.

(The other main type of depression is "endogenous" meaning from within, or more of the chemically caused depresson.)

I think your observation is great! It's easier to change sometimes than when the body determines how you feel. (The two types are not mutually exclusive though.)

To me, it means if you make positive changes in your life, you will improve remarkably! It still might not be easy, especially to identify what changes you need to make. I would begin by making a list of things you wish were different, and then set about finding a way to do that! Don't be afraid to consult a T about this, as I said, it is still difficult when you are depressed.

[Frozen_Heart]

Strange, I've had a bad downward spiral after leaving for week. I got a break from the kids, college, and it all and layed on the beach for 7 days. Then come back to 'life' and I just can't handle it!!!

When you were out of state, were you relieved of your normal responsibilities?

It's good you can recongize the difference!!

sky, i agree with you.......making a list and deciding what you WANT is going to be very helpful. then taking that list and working on it, at your pace, and not expecting an overnight deliverance will get you there.......it sure helped me.

i've been better since i moved, cause i wanted to be better and i wanted to soak up a different mind set that i knew was here and the belief that you and others showed in me by your help.......it all adds up to better days.

[heathery]

well yea when i was gone i was visiting the only person who can make me happy by just walking into the room no one has that affect on me at all my own mother cant help me out to that extent its weird! I'm just so happy when i am with this person or even just talking to them and yea i was outta the real world for almost two weeks and then now im back and its worse then ever! I hate it sooooo much now!!!!

[wi_fighter]

I so understand what you mean. If I'm out of the house and spending time doing something for myself, I can be downright normally happy, but come home and the kids start bickering and the animals need attention, and work wants me to do something urgent, and then I just want to crumble.

[sammi]

yeah i understand too. during the day when i'm and about and doing things i can be just fine. sometimes it ends up just being the little things that push me over the edge.

heathery i've done the same things before. Gone away for a week and then come back and feel horrible. I think it happens because for a weeek ( or however long it is that ur gone) your almost free from it all. Your on vacation so ur happy.

When you get home though ur kind of hit with reality again and lets face it, its hard to come back ...

[heathery]

Ohhh I know its hard to come back mainly where i have to come to i live in illinois and i hate it here with all my heart all i really have here is bad memories of my "father" beating me or trying to kill me or kill my mom or beat my mom and sisters or the bad memories well that is what it really comes down to anywhere i look i think wow is someone watching me its hard and where i was at i want to move to i have that person there and the college i want to go to is there and i think that i should just put my mind on getting a new job with better pay and saving up and just move already because i think that would be the best and maybe that way i could be happy all the time?! who really knows with out a try! right?