[HellishBSterminator]

I am an ugly guy and I don't know why I exist. I feel attracted to women but they only have contempt or condescending pity for me. I don't blame them of course, ugly people like me deserve that kind of treatment. I wish I could get rid of my hormones, because I know my feelings would never be reciprocated. I feel guilty if I even look at them by mistake. I don't know if my existence has any meaning.

[Sabra]

You sound extremely depressed as well as angry. Have you tried to see a healthcare provider to deal with your depression? When depressed, we don't see the world as it is, we see it through the lens of depression. Please try to make an appointment to get some help. Also, continue to express your feelings here. It helps to share them rather than just ruminate on them.

Sabra

[HellishBSterminator]

Of course, I need to look at the world only to be ridiculed and pushed away. Healthcare is a waste of the little money that I have and useless, even healthcare providers play rude jokes with and mislead ugly people like myself, just to extract money from desperate people turned gullible. Humanity is terrible. It's better to be an animal.

[unhappycamper463]

You know I actually somewhat agree with you. Animals don't have the thought processes that we do. They just eat, **** and then die. They don't search for meaning.

I do think that healthcare hasn't figured out mental health yet. You walk into the emergency room suicidal and they just prescribe you meds that take 6 weeks to work and let you go home and toil in your misery.

I don't know how to find meaning. If you check out the Wikipedia article on Absurdism it pretty much says that religion is the only way to go. Personally, I haven't found the willpower to make a leap of faith so I'm stuck in Kierkegaard's "demonic madness" (like I presume you are). I also haven't figured out how to enjoy that...

Nothing I can say will make you feel better but just keep venting here. We're not going to judge you because we feel similarly.

Oh, man. There is really a cockeyed view here somehow. You are valuable. Why you can't see that it is probably the result of skewed thinking caused by the strong depression you're experiencing? Please go in for an evaluation with a good psychiatrist and get on the proper medication to restore the chemical balance.

It's the chemistry, man, that needs correcting.

Because I'm an animal lover, I need to say just a little something about that. Having lived on a farm and watching animals from their birth 'til their death, I can tell you that they are sensitive (probably more so than humans in some ways). They are alert, intelligent, caring, and helpful. And they have emotions and memory.

When I look back on the times in my life when I have seen animals teach their young how to behave, what to avoid, whom to care for, and what is best for them to eat, etc., they are some of the fondest memories I have of the animal kingdom.

At moments, I almost feel as though animals deserve more love and affection than a few people I' ve met along the way--not either of you, of course.

I just hope you will find the way to restore the chemistry of the brain so that you aren't seeing yourself as less than a very valuable and important contributor to the life of others and their well-being.

Good wishes to both of you.