[twiks]

I have no one left to turn to anywhere. Depressed, lonely, heart-broken, and miserable with every aspect of my life. I had one friend that I thought I could turn to, then after 2-3 days of talking to him about some of my problems he told me to leave him alone until I "get over all of this". Then I went and made the mistake of telling the girl that had been my best friend for the last 10 years that I've been in love with her for as long as I can remember. And she told me that she never wants to speak to me or see me again. So within the last 2 weeks I lost the only 2 people in the world that I considered to be friends and now I have no one left. I miss face-to-face interaction with people, but I'm terribly shy and the idea of spending time around people that I don't know terrifies me more than anything else in the world.

I have 3 beautiful kids and they are what's keeping me going every single day. But it's not the same as having a friend. I can't very well sit down with my 7 year old son and have a conversation with him about what's going on in my life. I've tried talking to family members, my mom's advice is "things will get better" and "don't start drinking like your uncles did". I talk to my sister on almost a daily basis, and I'm thankful for that, but, she lives about 5 hours away from me. So it is still lacking, I haven't actually seen her in about 6 months. I realize that 5 hours isn't that far away, but with my kids and work schedule it's very hard to find time to make any sort of trip to go see her.

Everyone tells me to just go out and do things that I enjoy and that's how you meet new friends that have similar interests. The problem with that is that everything that I enjoy doing involves me not leaving my apartment. Reading, watching movies, video games...none of the things I enjoy doing are very "social activities". I like to bike, but the weather here is preventing that for the time being. And I don't know how I would meet anyone while biking around out in the middle of nowhere where I live anyways.

I'm not sure why I'm posting on here other than I feel the need to vent and have no one that I can vent to in person. Thanks for taking the time to read, and I hope you're having a better day than I am

[allimsaying]

When I was in my deepest depression, what hurt most being alone more than anything. Its ok to connect here but I know face to face is its own niceness. It sounds like you're used to being alone out where you live? 5 hours is a long trip, you'd spend most time travelling I think. My older sister is some distance away too I miss having lunch with her and talking. It also sounds like you do a lot of things alone so you spend time that way a lot anyway but you still want part-time interaction. Or is it that you'd like to motivate yourself to get out more?

My day is young but I think its going to be a good one. Im not on here always but I hope you find lots of friends here.

[twiks]

I've always been a bit of a "loner" but I've also always had at least 4 or 5 friends that I'd hang out with on a semi-regular basis. Being alone has never really been anything that's bothered me that much, like I said most of the things I enjoy doing are things you do by yourself. So, if my friends were busy or I didn't feel like hanging out with anyone I was still always able to keep myself entertained.

But over the last few years those 4 or 5 friends have all moved on with their lives, moved away, gotten married, no time for old friends. And that was fine, for a while. But over the last 6-8 months or so I've just really started missing having any sort of interaction with people. I see people at work, but there's not really anyone there that I get along with well enough or have anything in common with that I'd really want to spend any time outside of work with them.

It's just an odd feeling, being almost 30 and having no real friends to turn to. Never really thought that would be an issue. And now I just feel like it's too late to start over and make new friends because everyone my age has too much stuff going on in their own lives starting families or working on their careers. Plus I tend to not get along well with people my own age anyways because we never seem to have many similar interests. I get along better with my 7 year old son than I do with people my age because I'd rather play video games and read comic books than sit around discussing politics, religion or other things that I couldn't care less about.

I don't know, just in a weird place in my life and don't know what to do with myself anymore.

[winter4me]

You are younger than you know, and clearly in a tough place. Could you find some social activities that are for your 7yo but include parents? Having a kid is something every parent will be glad to chat about, you might not find someone to confide in right away but it sounds like it might be good for both of you to get out of the house together.
I know, easier said than done but it's worth it to keep trying.

[twiks]

I know I'm still young, wasn't trying to say that I'm almost 30 so my life is over or anything like that. Just never thought that at this age I would still be having to worry about making new friends like I was still in high school.

I have been wanting to find some sort of activities for me and my kids, but I haven't been having a lot of luck and I don't really know where to even look, I'm somewhat new to the area. I've got them all signed up to play t-ball and baseball this summer, and their mom will probably be signing them up for swimming lessons. So those will be possible places to start meeting some new people over the summer.

Trying to keep a positive outlook on everything, just been kinda hard to see the positives lately.

[Crashed Again]

twiks, how about sunday school and church for you and the kids. When you find the right church, new friends will come to you. I am almost 60 and that is still one of the hardest things to do, make friends. I just got back to Christ, I checked out a few churches till I found the one I like. after settling on a church. I called the pastor and made an apointment to talk to him. When I met the pastor I just started talking and before I new it I had beared my soul to this man that I did not know. Having just gotten out of the hospital I ask him to be in my support group of people and he said he would be more that happy to do that. What a kind and loving man. There is a lot of good people out there looking for the same thing you are, you just need to get together. Church has worked for me, so maybe it will work for you. I know any thing I say to my pastor is in confidence and will never go anywhere else. I also now get emails and such from new friends from church, I do pertisipate in church activites now. I know finding new friends can be tough, but if you don't look, your new friends will never find you. I wish you the very best of happiness and God bless. Garry

[twiks]

I spent pretty much all of my childhood in church, 3 days a week every week from the time I was 5 or 6 until I was 17. Not by my choice, my parents forced me to go. And that in my opinion is the worst idea ever. Forcing someone to go to church is a good way to make absolutely sure that church is the one place that they never want to be.

As soon as I realized I was old enough to make my own decision and stop going I stopped. It was never really for me. I've had several people since then take me to church with them. Several different churches, different denominations. Never was comfortable at any of them though, I just always feel like I don't belong there.

[unhappycamper463]

I understand completely. I had a couple people tell me not to talk to them anymore. That pain never really goes away. The weird part is when you're falling and you really need somebody to be there, you stop reaching out because you try to protect them from you. That's where I am now. I'm trying to not push people away by being needy but it really makes you feel alone. It ****ing sucks. I try to vent it out here but I don't think it works as well as I need it to.

[twiks]

Originally Posted by unhappycamper463

I'm trying to not push people away by being needy but it really makes you feel alone. It ****ing sucks. I try to vent it out here but I don't think it works as well as I need it to.

You just hit the nail on the head. I HATE being "needy" and that's exactly how I feel whenever I talk to anyone about my problems. Because there's a lot of people out there that have things a lot worse than I do, so what right do I have to sit around complaining about my life. But yet, that's all that I want to do anymore.

You are correct though, it ****ing sucks.

[unhappycamper463]

I guess we just want someone to be there, to tell us we're not ****ing losers and just to listen. There's not much to say. People say **** like "a lot of people would love to have what you have". That's not helpful. Am I supposed to feel good because somebody wants to live my life? I don't even want to.

[Crashed Again]

I know how you feel about church, I to was dragged to church and sunday school. Liked sunday school when I was little. I am now remembering it more like you, dang that was a long time ago. After more thought on this you are right about church. It took me a lot of years before going back to church. I would like to thank you, for making me think back that far.That should of smoked a few brain cells making them work that hard. There are still new friend of yours out there just waiting to find you as much as you want to find them. Just remember your life matters no matter what. God Bless. Garry

[Hopefloat]

We may have been separated at birth. I have had the same experience as you with friends. When the one or two friends you thought you had aren't there, it's a huge hole and feels lonely... and I also I know how you feel about church too - I have exactly the same history as you with that.

Are there any indoor playgrounds that you can take your child(ren) to? I've found that playgrounds (indoor in winter/parks in summer) are great places to start up conversations with other adults. As a result, there have been opportunities to meet up with the parent(s) and child(ren) again. You never know...not only the kids may become best of friends, but you adults might end up great friends too! Chin up! - Hope