I am so lonely and bored...

Everybody went to sleep and I'm sitting here on a Sunday morning 5:30 AM with nothing to do. I work nights and so I'm always awake at this time. I have no friends and it has been that way for a very long time, about 8 years or more. I've been depressed for a longer time than that. I am on meds and regularly see a counselor/therapist. I've been doing this for about 6 months now with no results. I don't feel better at all, I feel just the same as I did when I first walked into the door. I'm going insane I tell you, and my psychiatrist now suggests that I go to a mental health center for an IOP (intensive outpatient program). I don't want to go there though, it makes me feel like I'm in grade school. I just want to be able to do things with other people besides my family and maybe someday get a girlfriend... sigh. I'm so miserable...I fear that even if the right people come along I won't be able to interact with them properly since I've been depressed for so long. I don't know where to start changing things. This city is so boring, there isn't much to do at night/morning here. I get so lonely.

Hi Sadly, wanted to say I read your post and I can identify with many things you have said. Being depressed and feeling alone and trapped in a seemingly hopeless situation is one of the worst feelings for me.
You mentioned that you have been seeing a counselor but haven't seen any progress. Do you think you could benefit from a change of therapist or a change of your therapy (change in meds or take a different approach)?
The IOP might not be such a bad idea. If you have the financial possibility to do the IOP why not try and at least visit one session? You don't know if you won't meet friendly people there and find the help you need unless you try. I would give anything a chance. Even if it turns out to be a waste of your time in the end, trying out something new is better then spending time by yourself at home. Keep posting here and if you want to talk you can always pm me. Take care

Sadley,
sometimes change comes at a price. If regular therapy is not helping you, why not give the IOP a try. Part of the reason we get stuck in our depression is because we are too afraid to change. I've dealth with depression my whole life, therapists, medications etc. etc. Its hard and some days there seems to be no way out.

There are parts of us that we don't want to bring to the surface, much less tell anyone else about. Even therapists. As long as we hold onto those, the problem will persist. The way I look at it is that we have several doors in our mind. Behind each one is a monster, and the monster is emotional pain. Some of the doors we open without a problem, but others we will do anything to avoid opening. That would mean facing fears that might endanger our very being. I have a few of those myself. That is why i'm still floating around in hell. I managed to fight off a good deal of my depression to go on and finish eight years of college, but the monsters still push at the doors.

It takes a great deal of courage to face the things that hurt us most. Sorry to say I'm not a good example to follow. If you have a chance at IOP, take it if you can. It may seem childish, but your therapist would not recommend it if he didn't think that it would help or that he could do as much for you as IOP could.

I don't know how old you are, but I don't want anyone to wind up like me. I'm almost fifty, have one friend, can't interact with more than one or two people at a time and feel that the majority of my life has been wasted. You have a chance to pull out of your situation. There really isn't much to lose, and its up to you whether you leave therapy or not. It all comes down to how badly you want to make the change. Don't sell yourself short. You have potential and the willingness to interact with others. The sooner you start, the less bagage will be tacked onto your already heavy burden.

Good luck,
Sam2

I could related , since i moved back live with my parent, i never go anywhere maybe once or twice a month just visiting my aunt in next village so basically i only stay home most of the times , my parent own a store even with that the store mix with the house , i never really live here and dont have friends here and i agree with chocmouse maybe by going to IOP it could benefits you, or do you like a kids? is there any hospital or playground next to your plpace that you could go an volunteer yourself?
well if theres nothing works you still have us her *hugs*