[akekaomen]

Lonliness is knowing that other people can handle the stressors that I can't, so I can't talk to people around me about my frustrations. It makes me feel like I am worthless and less valuable than others because they can do things that I can't. If I wasn't crippled by my own stressors at work and home, I could be as good as they are and possibly have hobbies that allow me to talk to them. For now my interests and hobbies are coping skills to allow me to function as a manager, employee, husband and father (none of which I do very well).

In fact others around me act like the stressors I face are trivial to them. It's cruel to be put in situations like this, but no one will pay for me to live without being subjected to this torture at work. I'll do my best to keep living and not show my weakness (I will continue to be very lonely).

[CharactorAssassin]

Originally Posted by akekaomen

Lonliness is knowing that other people can handle the stressors that I can't, so I can't talk to people around me about my frustrations. It makes me feel like I am worthless and less valuable than others because they can do things that I can't. If I wasn't crippled by my own stressors at work and home, I could be as good as they are and possibly have hobbies that allow me to talk to them. For now my interests and hobbies are coping skills to allow me to function as a manager, employee, husband and father (none of which I do very well).

In fact others around me act like the stressors I face are trivial to them. It's cruel to be put in situations like this, but no one will pay for me to live without being subjected to this torture at work. I'll do my best to keep living and not show my weakness (I will continue to be very lonely).

Just use your power to eliminate the manager position or make sure everyone has equal pay instead. This is the real problem. Just go to your boss and tell him you want everyone to have equal pay. That might solve your problem. Do you get my point. Its up to us to make the change we want to see. Its going to have to start with you I'm afraid. Or don't goto your boss and see if the people below you want equal pay and have them sign a petition or something. If the CEO has feelings he will do the right thing.

[optimize990h]

Well, if you can not get a therapist in real life to help you alleviate your situation, you can always reach out here at PC.

[akekaomen]

The sad thing is I have a therapist and a psychiatrist. They don't help much. I'm on enough medicine to keep me stable, but most techniques in therapy doesn't work. I can't seem to connect with human beings in general .

[avlady]

I went through a period in my life where I was really really lonely. I don't know why or how I got to be so lonely but it hurt like hell. I think a lot of it occurred as a high school student. Not until i got into the local college did i "spread my Wings" and learned not everyone 'Hates Me". Made lots of new friends from different countries, and even made friends I lived near too that I never would think of getting to be friends with, because I thought before that, that i was not good enough for them. Well, if anyone out there is lonely, there is hope for you, pray for friends, I'll be praying for you too. Also after I got a job I also had many friends too.

[akekaomen]

Right now I am so lonely because I can't connect with other people that I don't know how much more of it I can take. I don't like being at work, but I have to work. There is no social service that will help me. Society will force me to be around people and that means I will have to be uncomfortable. Therapy doesn't fix it, but tells me to use techniques to tolerate the pain. I don't know if there's a job out there I could do that would pay enough for my family. I want to tell my family to leave me so I can just fall apart, but I don't want to lose them either.

I'm in a horrible space right now and really have lost hope.

[*woundedhealer*]

akekaomen,
That is a very profound thought about loneliness.
I'm impressed with your ability to express your thoughts and feelings. I'm jealous, really.

It's so true in my life. I wish I could get out on paper or verbalize for that matter, the thoughts of my heart.

This forum has become my best friend.

I'll pray for you.


woundedhealer7

Sent from my GS3.

[LovelaceF]

{{{{{akekaomen}}}}}} It's safe to show weakness here.

[maintainhappiness]

It's so easy to see these things as weakness. I'm sorry to hear all of this.
Is there anything GOOD that has come out of your suffering and mental illness? Such as patience, empathy, understanding, appreciation for good moments etc..?

These are the things I look for.
Stay Strong.