[HelenPaul510]

I've never really written to an audience before... especially not about my own issues but here is goes. I'm a unemployed, 21 year old, single female with no ambition, motivation, or inspiration. My high school years weren't so bad in the social sense but academically my grades were terrible. So much so, my high school let me graduate with half a credit but sh!#, at the time I wasn't complaining. Inevitably I didn't take SAT's or ACT's, I didn't apply to any colleges or universities because of my poor grades and credits.

Now I'm being told by my family I HAVE to do something soon. I've been staying in my parent's house for my entire life, I've been trying to get a job but none of them interest me. The longest I've held a job through all this time is 2 weeks... I feel like a damn joke. In a certain light, I know I am one. I don't have any dreams, I'm hardly into anything I used to love, like drawing and writing stories. I barely leave my bedroom and whenever I do, I always find myself sighing, cursing god, and sucking my teeth whenever I think about what I have to do or the things I should have done. I don't want to go to school, because I know I'm a terrible student, but without a specialization in something I know I can't get a decent job... which means I'll be struggling to provide for myself for the rest of my life and lord knows no man wants some pathetic, needy, and depressed chick around.

I always feel alone, lifeless, and empty. How the **** do I get rid of all the emotion and mental stress I've built up to live like a regular human being, and a productive citizen in society? I hope someone reads this... I wish someone could understand... I'm so sick of being in such a beautiful world I'm not apart of...

[allimsaying]

It sounds like you tripped from the starting blocks. Its not terrible you didnt do well in school but Im sure it feels that way. When you're a teen there can be a lot more interesting things going on or maybe the usual subjects just didnt interest you. Thats not a good reason to hate yourself in my view but you started to then. Then mom and dad werent so supportive or at least they pressured you and you didnt have a direction to turn because you were distracted during the time you were supposed to be figuring things out. Still not a good reason to hate yourself but you did.

What if, while you're still young, you looked at a vocational school? You can get career counseling at a prospective college or trade school. You may not have interests right now but it could be because you havent been exposed yet to the thing that rings your bell. Explore everything.

I could encourage you to follow your dream but that may not pay the bills right now. If you're not socially anxious you might be good in sales. Lots of opportunity there.

What you've experienced so far has led you to believe you have no future but youre still at the starting gate. Its way to soon to give up now.

[Rohag]

Hello, HelenPaul510!

Vocationally focused education and training is rather different from what you experienced in high school. Perhaps you could ask to sit in on a variety of different VOC ED classes just to get an idea of what it's like.

Allimsaying makes an important point: you do not yet have sufficient information about yourself and the working world to reasonably evaluate where you stand. Also, the more you attempt to interact with the world the more data you will have to discuss with a doctor what may be going on inside.

I don't have any dreams, I'm hardly into anything I used to love...

These raise concerns and bear watching. Depression by Doc John

Please keep posting. Exciting discoveries may just be around the corner.

[Leed]

Helen ~ Do you think your parents would help you get therapy? You are SEVERELY DEPRESSED! How do I know? Because you isolate, because you don't do the things you used to love, like drawing, writing stories, because you have no interest in life. THAT, my friend, is severe depression! I was just like you , and that's exactly what my psychiatrist told me - that I was severely depressed. And that's what my psychologist told me -- severe depression. I've been thru therapy and believe me it works wonders.

I found out things I didn't even know about myself, and of course we worked on thiings that I DID know were bothering me -- like my rotten childhood. You have to be willing to be OPEN and HONEST with your therapist.

Can you get into therapy? If not, you can at LEAST talk openly and honestly with your medical doctor -- he can help you too. So please do one or the other will you? You do need HELP and it's there for the asking. But don't just let it go like this.

Call your doc for a referral to a therapist, or to talk to your doc. One or the other, but please get some help, okay? And do something else? Let me know what happens? I'd REALLY like to know. You can private message me or something, but please let me know, ok? Hugs, Lee

[avlady]

I thank you for posting this post. It reminds me of my son, he is 22 and doesn't know yet what he wants to do with his life after 3 years of college, is on paxil too. I feel bad for kids your age because there is so much to be anxious about, especially if you aren't in a program for something you know you want to do for the rest of your life. Like someone else said, you could try a vocational seminar or something like that. You probably have low motivation because you don't have anything to look foward to when you wake up in the morning. A doc and T would be good too. I also remember when i was in college over 20 years ago, we basically partied all the time which was the worst decision of my life. If you are partying alot that could ruin your life too. Listen to a doc and don't do drugs, if you do, i'm not saying you do, but it is an awful experience. Life can be beautiful and you don't want to miss out on it as you've said.

[montanan4ever]

Please go to your state department of labor's division of vocational rehabilitation. The offices are generally wherever you find your county offices, unemployment, welfare offices etc. It sounds like you would be an excellent candidate for their services, which can be very comprehensive.