[Aleakim]

Okay I had this all typed out and nice and then I closed out the tab stupidly. Hopefully I can get it the same.

I apologize if this isn't even in the right category, but I still hope someone will read it.

7th grade I went back to public school from homeschool, and I didn't care much about my appearance at first. I made some pretty good friends, but the school district is snobby, rich, and they don't talk to you if you're unattractive.
Thus, I started feeling ugly, worthless, not good enough, unattractive....
7th-8th grade I started getting really low self esteem. it got even worse when I got to high school this year. I stayed for the first nine weeks but I'm homeschooled again.
I had decided to change up my appearance totally and my friends didn't like that very much. Most of them just stopped talking to me or lied to me daily and made me miserable. Then just stopped talking to me. One of my friends called me a ***** but put it on my other friend (who is still my friend). Whenever it was really her.
I'm sorry if I worded that weird.
I feel really lonely and confused, and my self esteem and depression is worse than ever.
My current closest friends are from the internet. I like my friends on the internet more than my friends who had betrayed me.
I get the speech about how "looks don't matter" all the time. I'm tired of it. I know looks don't matter, but that still doesn't help the fact I go on facebook every day and come across pretty girls who get 70 likes on their pictures and they just have a perfect everything.
I still have the need to change my appearance, despite if my parents don't want me to.
I'm so tired of feeling not good enough.

Hey Mika. I'm not sure if I should answer this because I'm going to say basically the thing that you're tired of hearing
Looks matter... but they matter only as much as they matter to you.
I'm sure it's tough being a young girl in a society that has gone out of it's way to make looks matter so much to one's self esteem and peer acceptance.
Imagine how much more interesting and stimulating life could be if people could be made to understand how much more important what's inside a person's heart, mind, and soul are. Imagine not having to live life by someone else's false and shallow rules.
Feeling good enough comes from inside... from the soul. From who you are and what you think and care about.
Those girls you compare yourself to may be fine with the game but at what cost to their soul and to their development as humans.
Sorry for saying something you're tired of hearing but this is just my view of what makes life interesting and rewarding.

[Leed]

Hi sweetie ~ I know all about what you're feeling cause I felt the same way in school. I didn't feel good enough, or pretty enough -- I didn't have the right clothes, I didn't live in the right neighborhood. etc. All of the counts when you're in high school It's sad to say, but it's true. Most teenagers are snobs, and they rate other teenagers by themselves and THEIR environment and what THEY have. If they're well-to-do, then their friends had better be too, or they won't hang around them. At least that's the way it was when I went to school. So I couldn't hang around with the "in" crowd even if they liked me -- cause it wouldn't "look" good. Know what I mean?

I began babysitting to make my own money so I could buy my own clothes. I babysat every chance I could get. I made alot of money and we had a very nice store in our town at the time and I bought my clothes there. At least I looked good instead of wearing the "old" clothes that I had been wearing before. That helped my self-esteem. Plus I made sure my hair was done nicely and that I wore proper makeup -- nothing heavy, just "proper." The more I took care of myself, the more compliments I got. People were starting to notice me. That felt good! I wasn't invisible anymore!!

Perhaps a "re-do" would help. Plus, if your depression is getting out of hand, PLEASE talk to your school counselor. He/she understands what it's like and can help you. That's what they are there for. So either make an appointment to talk to the counselor, or just walk in, ok? Don't hesitate. God bless and please take care. And let us know how you're doing. Hugs, Lee

[Kahlifl]

Can't figure out how to start a new thread, so, I'm asking my question here.
I'm trying to find information on the connection between "low self esteem and self absorption.
I believe that some people mask their need for constant attention with the term low self esteem. Always playing the victim to gain attention. Always making everything about them.
Any ideas on information regarding this connection?