[ThisWayOut]

I'm not sure if this belongs here or in addictions or depression or where...

I'm feeling horrible. I just spent a huge amount of money on stuff I didn't really need, and a few things that are relationship breakers... It's bad. I'm feeling awful about it. I can't return the stuff because it was purchased as "final sale". I can try to sell it, but I will likely not get the amount of money back on it that I spent... Neither my wife nor I have a job. We have very finite resources, and I keep screwing up. I had promised not to spend the money, but I did anyway... are there support groups for this? Is there any way I can help myself to stop short of hitting rock bottom?

I go to therapy, I discuss it with my therapist, I set a budget even... but my wife goes away for a week and I'm anxious and lonely so I spend money... money I don't have to waste on things I really don't need... ugh. I'm freaking out inside right now, and I can't really talk to anyone about it. I don't know if I can sell the one thing she knows about... I wish I could, but it's a snake, so I want to make sure it goes to a good home (hard to come by around here)... It's not that I don't feel I could adequately care for it, but I should not have spent the money on it... and I shouldn't have wasted the extra cash on bigger/better terrariums for some of the others... I don't know how to stop all this... it's throwing me into a panic.
I want to be able to go someplace and not do impulse shopping... I want to be able to save money like a normal person. It's not just with the animals... I want to be able to have my coping mechanisms under control... If it's not the self harm, or the drinking, then it's the spending or the eating/not eating or something else destructive... I don't feel like I can win. I have all these other skills, but I never implement them in time... How do you learn to do that? How do you make yourself stop and do something healthy instead of something harmful? It's my biggest struggle... If we at least had SOME income, the spending would not be such an issue... we both spend to make ourselves feel better, and this is the first time we have both been without income to help off-set the out-flow of cash... I wish it were something easy like only substances or gambling... at least there are treatment centers for that and you can get help.... but there's no place that treats this cycle of bad coping... there's no fix that I can manage. there are no sponsors or people to call when you feel like you are going in circles before you fall... then the problem lines of thinking set in and I jump to self-destruction being the only way out of this cycle... I wouldn't do any of this if I were not around...
UGH! I'm feeling so lost again. I really hate this. and my therapist is out till Tuesday evening... that feels like forever away...

[hannabee]

Oh I'm so sorry that you are going through this! I can relate, I don't shop but I love to gamble and it's hard not to do it. Today, I wanted to go to the casino, fortunately, my husband (who also loves it) said no. I don't know what to tell you, maybe just confess and let your wife know how badly you are feeling. You two have to work together with this problem. Hugs and good luck.

[ThisWayOut]

not sure if this will make me feel worse or better, but I have decided to put a large portion of my reptiles up for sale... the guilt from them and the bouts of depression make it really hard to just enjoy them...

I am keeping the snake I purchased yesterday, because snakes are a bit easier to care for than the lizards, but I am putting a bunch of my lizards up... I know I will miss them, but I need to get a handle on this... it's a better alternative to self-harming over the guilt...

[Cocosurviving]

I can relate to the over spending. I did the exact same things that you did. I have a condition and one symptom is over spending. You might be able to find a support group. Call 211 or your local United Way.