[maroda09]

I feel like I've been pistol whipped. When I walk to work I feel like there is a hand gripping at my throat. When I walk through the door, my eyes droop and I feel utterly exhausted. People always say, when it rains, it pours and that couldn't be more true for me right now.

My parents who live in VA, are seriously considering moving to Texas and this just came out of nowhere. Much like finding out I was adopted 24 years after the fact, here is another information dump I wasn't prepared for. The house in VA is in my name and I was looking forward to having it for life. Now they're going to just pick up and move across the country because "Texas is the only state that is still a state." I'm so confused and I wish they would have talked to me about this idea which may come into fruition soon.

My relationship with my boyfriend is on the rocks. We've been together four months and he recently did something really inconsiderate to me. I brought my concerns to him in a very clear and mature manner. The last time we talked he was half asleep and basically told me that he is self-centered to everyone except his son. If I can't deal with him not changing, because he doesn't want to change, then I need to decide if I want to pursue this relationship or not. This came out of NOWHERE. I just decided to call him out on a few things so we could discuss them and it is as if he has shut down and doesn't care about me or our future. I didn't threaten, I didn't belittle, and yet he's all "well I'm an a hole and I'm not going to change." He wasn't like this when we started dating. He wasn't like this early in the relationship, so why now?

My workplace is insufferable. The agency is in emotional turmoil. We recently created a list of grievances (my idea) that we have with the way the agency is running, with administration, with each other. We brainstormed solutions and are having open and honest talks about the problems within. However this process is exhausting and we're walking on eggshells around each other. Every day is an emotional timesuck and just sitting at my desk feels like the most overwhelming thing in the world. I've applied for another job but I haven't heard back yet.

Also, its finals time in graduate school and I have two pending projects that loom over my head. One is in trouble and the other I should be able to get done. My work schedule has picked up full speed and I'm forced to work late a lot even though this is a very busy time for me academically. I'm doing everything I can to find pockets of time where I can balance my work workload and these final projects.

I'm feeling pistol whipped. When bad things happen I laugh because it "figures." I just want to make it through this hurricane so I can restore normacly to my life and try to rebuild what has been destroyed.

[adam_k]

I can relate to being adopted and finding out about it later. It kinda rocked my world and I still don't know how to process it. My situation was strange though.

I'm sorry to hear about your bf. I am having releationshio problems too and it adds a lot of strain. I hope you can sort your life out and find out what is best for you.

I hope you find help in this forum or therapy or meds. I like your title for your post. I feel like that a lot.

[Leed]

While I find it almost unforgivable that your parents didn't tell you until recently that you were adopted, you must remember that they CHOSE you -- you were most DEFINITELY WANTED!!! You weren't an "oops" like so many of us, me included. I wasn't planned -- my parents weren't "ready" for me, or perhaps even wanted. All they told me was that I was an "oops." But YOU were chosen, my friend and desperately wanted! For that, you can be grateful. As far as your birth parents, perhaps you can find out now. Records are open, unless it was done thru a church, in which case they are most often kept closed. Did you have a happy childhood? Were your parents good to you? Did they show you love and attention? If so, do you REALLY want to find your birth parents? You also must remember that many times when you DO find your birth parents, it does NOT come out like you had hoped.

And your boyfriend ~ Thank god you have only 4 months invested in this relationship. It doesn't sound like MUCH of a relationship to me. He sounds quite selfish -- quite self-centered. Maybe this is all of a sudden, and if it is, perhaps he's showing you the "real" him because you voiced your concerns to him. Is this something you hadn't done before? If this is the first time you'd actually mentioned any concerns you had about the relationship, he probably decided to show you who he REALLY was, instead of staying in the "honeymoon" period. I doubt you'll want to stay with someone like that. I think I'd just call it quits, and move on to something/someone else. Like I said, all you have is 4 months in this -- not very long.

As for your workplace, at least you have your feelers out to another job. Keep sending resume's out. You can stand it long enough until you find another job. I'm SURE you'll find one. Just try to de-stress yourself. Stop worrying about this so-called relationship, cause it's really not there. Concentrate on your schooling, and get thru that the best you can! That's where your future lies. The rest is all fluff.

God bless you my friend, and take care of YOU. Keep us informed as to how things are going! Hugs, Lee