[bluegirl2004]

I've been cutting back on negative coping mechanisms so I can try to get a handle on my more than mild but not severe depression. But am getting sucked alive into it. feeling very blue, worthless apathetic. Really want to work through this and put it behind me. Perhaps I'm now in denial?

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Bluegirl2004.

Originally Posted by bluegirl2004

Perhaps I'm now in denial?

These statements -

Originally Posted by bluegirl2004

I've been cutting back on negative coping mechanisms so I can try to get a handle on my more than mild but not severe depression. But am getting sucked alive into it. feeling very blue, worthless apathetic.

do not strike me as the statements of someone in denial. Rather, they seem to be the product of sober self-awareness.

Originally Posted by bluegirl2004

Really want to work through this and put it behind me.

Good for you. Please, go on - post as you wish and as you are comfortable.

[bluegirl2004]

I guess my struggle is to not go back to the negative mechanisms that numb me. I hate them, like over drinking. I don' have an addiction, I stop but then crave not alcohol, but the numbing it provides. But then I'm left with the pain. I think my denial comment relates to my fantasy that all I have to do is quit the escape activities and then I'll be able to deal with the depression head on. Like I can fix it. When I face it head on I haven't the foggiest as to how to fix it.

[bharani1008]

Hi bluegirl and welcome. It says on your profile that bereavement is one of your concerns. Have you lost someone close to you? If you have it's no wonder you are feeling sad-- it's natural. Maybe there is a support group in your community to help you understand what you are going through and help you.
If that's not your problem then I think you need to get some help. It's not easy to cope with depression. It's a very complex problem which can be caused by several different things. It usually takes a dr. or trained professional to begin to cope with it.
Almost no one can deal with it alone. If you read some of the posts on this forum you will know what I mean. Most of us needed help!!
So that's the good news. Here you will find friends and support and lots of information so you can take control and get better.
Keep posting and good luck

[Fuzzybear]

[bluegirl2004]

I'm bereaving the death of a relationship. The death was caused by the whacky behavior I displayed when over drinking while taking St. John's Wort to try to alleviate the symptoms of nicotine withdrawal. This is why it's so important that I quit the coping mechanisms. They have now created real wreckage, negatively impacted an important relationship. I did not recognize the person I was being and never want to see her again, so they have to go. Day 7 cold turkey, almost relapsed last night, but went to a chat site. Soooo happy I can say today is day 7. Was depressed before, but have a lot on my plate right now. Am a bundle of nerves, tears, and also the awful blahs.