[Mokuren]

So my end of year show is coming up and the teacher wants a showreel of our best work. (i study animation at uni) I cringe when i look at my work and hate myself for not being better. I have been severely depressed recently so i have not been producing much work and improving my skills. I'm seriously considering not to submit any work but i know that sounds stupid. If i do submit work, i would get too excited and believe something good will happen or i will get lots of praise when in actual fact, i most likely will be dismissed.

Worse yet, if i do get praise, i wouldn't know how to handle the attention or i dismiss it for kindness. The show last year was a big let down and kinda a failure.

[allimsaying]

Had those feelings. Wanting someone to notice my work, then not believing it when they said they liked it. Its part of how depression works, to fool us into believing we're not good enough and people are lying when they say good things.

[bharani1008]

Would it be possible to have your teacher preview your project ahead of time so you can either improve what you have or know that you've done well? Or maybe a fellow student who is kind. Being anxious about a project and make you miserable and cloud your judgement. It's really good that you are being courageous and putting something up.
Good luck with your show and let us know how you go.

[H3rmit]

Originally Posted by Mokuren

So my end of year show is coming up and the teacher wants a showreel of our best work. (i study animation at uni) I cringe when i look at my work and hate myself for not being better. I have been severely depressed recently so i have not been producing much work and improving my skills. I'm seriously considering not to submit any work but i know that sounds stupid. If i do submit work, i would get too excited and believe something good will happen or i will get lots of praise when in actual fact, i most likely will be dismissed.

Worse yet, if i do get praise, i wouldn't know how to handle the attention or i dismiss it for kindness. The show last year was a big let down and kinda a failure.

SOunds like you recognize your self-defeating behaviours, and you need to calm down and submit the work and resolve to learn from any mistakes.

>I cringe when i look at my work and hate myself for not being better.

Yeah, me too. And then I often get A on it. Once I got A+ and the prof wanted my work as a model example for future students. That was a nice request. But I feel the same way you do, often. So don't let it get in your way. Even if you do top work, you will look at it in a year or two and not be so impressed. So just keep moving.