[mztwizler]

my days been ******
It started out with two bad dreams.. of one my bf kissing another girl.. and another of my bf being a **** and not giving a %#@&#! about me lol.. and so all day i been depresed and angry.. crying because im angry with myself and the way i look n %#@&#!.. i mean i get that i am pretty a lot but i just think im so ugly.. and having lies and stupidnes that my bfs friends bring up..about past relationship that they knew my Ex.. and bad memories n %#@&#! .. now im thinking about this girl at his work ..like i just wanna kill her. for no good reason besides she was gettin friendly with my bf..? AHHH also this morning my son was crying a lot .. maybe he was upset that i was.. but it frustreted me even more ahhh i dont know

[silverlily]

i guess no one can teach you that your bf doesn't determine your self-worth, nor do your bad dreams. i heard once that dreams are the way we work out things that are bothering us? does this sound right to you? what is really going on that you have learned to let outside factors make you feel bad about yourself?
i wish i could help you un-learn this.
a person, at their core, either learns self-love or doesn't, i have no idea how it works....but imagine it has to do with our parents.
my own depression (diagnosed in 1994) is directed out. i feel the world is crappy, mean, and ugly.
please try not to be so hard on yourself.