[pacots]

Here I am again just got out of the hospital 1 wk. ago & depressed as ever. I have been hospitilazed ablout 15 times now. I am at the end of my rope. I hate everything in life nothing brings me pleasure. I am not even asking for worldly goods just some peace & happiness. Each day is a chore to me. Has anyone been down this road before?

[penguinsing]

Sorry to hear this.

[gracez]

I feel the exact same way

[Rohag]

Pacots, was the purpose of this last hospitalization simply to stabilize you, or did you and/or the doctors have greater expectations from it?

[avlady]

I have!!!

[Fuzzybear]

[ThisWayOut]

would you perhaps benefit from some more intensive treatment? I mean more than just a crisis stabilization hospital stay, but someplace that offers more intensive therapy and help? I have gone through bouts like that twice already... the last time (in 2011), I was unable to feel any better until I went to an intensive trauma treatment program in another state. They actually had therapy there, and the function of the unit was more than just mere stabilization on meds, but actual therapy...
It can be incredibly difficult and disheartening to keep trying and get seemingly nowhere. (hugs) I'm sorry you are going through this. It really does suck.

[optimize990h]

Many of us have go through similar episodes where each day is a struggle. I have had to set small manageable goals just to achieve on a daily basis. And feel I accomplished something by just maintaining basic needs. You are not alone.

70% of depressed folks are missing stomach enzymes that metabolize vitamin B9 (folic acid)
into folate which can cross the blood-brain barrier to help create more serotonin and
increase serotonin neurotransmitters--they are the "feel good" neurotransmitters.

A relatively new food med called Deplin provides a form of folate that can cross the
blood-brain barrier and is very helpful in alleviating depression. I take it (15 mg. once daily) and wouldn't be without it. It has been the "miracle" drug for me to help in
removing depressive states.

Please ask your psychiatrist about it; it may be that it could be helpful for you. I know
of a couple of people who were medication resistant who have been able to stabilize on
Deplin.

(It's discussed online, too.)

Take care of yourself.

[shery53]

I know how you feel somedays are so hard to get through. I too have been hospitalited several times.Unfortunately there are not always places like one poster suggested. I knnow there are not where I live.When we lived in another state there was a wonderful hospital where thet did therapy. But here I and my husband will do anything to keep me out of the hospital.

[pacots]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Pacots, was the purpose of this last hospitalization simply to stabilize you, or did you and/or the doctors have greater expectations from it?

No I was feeling suicidal again.

[So hopeful]

I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad. You're not alone. You probably feel like it's the last thing you want to do, but is there someone you can be with - a friend or family member, even just an acquaintance? Someone you can call?

I remember one particularly terrible time for me, I didn't know how I would survive it. I was terrified. I knocked on my neighbor's door - someone I didn't know that well, just enough to say hello. I was such a wreck, trembling and crying. I was too scared of my depression to be embarrassed. I just said, "I'm so sorry to bother you. I don't know what to do, I just need someone to talk to." She took me in and spent the rest of the day with me. I'll never forget it - she really saw me through, just with a bit of kindness.

Not everyone will be like her, but even if there's someone you could call 'just to say hello', to distract you a little and make you feel more connected. Or ask someone over (or ask yourself over) for a cup of coffee. To talk, or not talk, about your troubles? It's good to ask for help.

[herethennow]

I feel you. I was hospitalised twice for suicidality and then upon some days of reaching home everything crashed again. Maybe for now remind yourself how did you get stable enough for discharge that day.. and try the same ways. Hang in there.

[graygray]

I describe this feeling as "the way I felt before I checked myself in", and I can feel it beginning to rear it's ugly head. If I can make myself, it helps to put on a playlist of what I call "The Happies" and play it loud. I hope you feel better.