[jackie398]

Hi everyone.

I was only diagnosed with depression recently (I'm 21), but I know I've had it for a long, long time. I had a lot of the symptoms as far back as I can remember and I honestly can't remember ever being happy. Even as a child I was sad a lot of the time, and when I was 12 I almost committed suicide.

What I've really been struggling with lately is feeling hopeless about everything in my life. I can't see myself ever being happy or my life ever getting better. And I can't see my depression ever getting better. I know having a positive attitude is important, but every time I try to think positive thoughts, the negative thoughts come back and push them away.

I think I've been this way for so long that I can't imagine what it's like to be "normal" - depression is my normal. It's almost incomprehensible to me that there are some genuinely happy, optimistic people in the world.

I mean, how do people who have been depressed for a very long time recover? Can you ever be completely normal, or will it always be a struggle?

[a bland]

There is no such thing as "normal". Everyone deals with struggles and happiness and a bunch of other emotions. I believe it will get better for u. I mean nobody is always happy. It comes and goes and then comes back again. It's a vicious cycle. Depression can be so hard I've been there. I know what it feels like when u don't think u'll ever be happy again. Just give it time. Ur only 21 u have a long life ahead of u. It'll get better just give it time.

I think Bland is right, Jackie398. I have only this to add: please make sure you're taking the right medications to stabilize any brain chemistry imbalance you might have.

For example, did you know that 70% of people who are depressed lack the enzymes in
the stomach that convert Vitamin B9 (folic acid) into folate, and form of it which can
cross the blood-brain barrier and enable the brain to use folate to increase the serotonin
neurotransmistters in the brain? (They are the "good feeling" neurotransmitters that
alter our feeling tone.)

If you have never been genetically tested to determine if you have a lack of those
enzymes, please ask your psychiatrist if she/he would prescribe a food medication called
"Deplin" (a concentrated food form of Folate) if the doctor thinks there's a chance it might
help you. I asked my psychiatrist to please try it on me when I was being medicated for depression. It was decided to go ahead and prescribe Deplin at 7.5 mg, and if it helped, there would be no need to do genetic testing.

I take now 15 mg of Deplin each day and wouldn't be without it for my well-being.

It's worth a try for you to find out if you need that folate for your system.

Then, of course, the medications prescribed by your psychiatrist will help stabilize the
chemistry of the brain for you, and you may feel better than you have during your
lifetime. It takes your pro-active care to go into remission in depression.

You will need to watch your diet, keep a regular sleep schedule, and avoid anything
that tends to be addictive for you, such as caffeine or sugar, or wheat. (We can
actually live well and be healthy without the use of those products in our lives.)
The amino acids in grains can be compensated for by using seeds, nuts, brown rice,
and some other foods to makeup the amino acids contained in grains that have gluten
in them.

Take care and let us know how you get along.

[gracez]

Hi Jackie,

I'm really tired and so not writing well, but more reading thru posts.

For tonight wanted to say that I've read you, hear you and am here for you. Keep posting, or PM me anytime.

"What I've really been struggling with lately is feeling hopeless about everything in my life. I can't see myself ever being happy or my life ever getting better. And I can't see my depression ever getting better. I know having a positive attitude is important, but every time I try to think positive thoughts, the negative thoughts come back and push them away."

I feel this exact same way. I've given up hope.

But it's funny, I give up for myself but do have hope for example, for you.

Hugs

[bharani1008]

Depression IS a struggle. It's a very sneaky disease and makes us think that we are bad when often it's our body that is out of balance. I agree that a healthy lifesyle is very important--even when you are feeling better. I am 63 and have been depressed most of my life. Thanks to modern medicine and a devoted psychiatrist I have found the right mix of chemicals to smooth out my mind so I can think clearly and be optimistic about the future. I've never been where I could get therapy but it's good that you can. People here on PC say it's very helpful.
I guess my message is if I can be better after soo many years than you can too.

[Idiot17]

Not much help, but i could have written that too, you're not the only one feeling so. (((hugs))).