Since my boyfriend left me it seems I only managed to go backwards. I've joined another support group at the beginning of the year to help with it and met some great people there. They all had their own problems, like a parent passing away, agoraphobia and such, but they are all doing well. Me on the other hand seem to just bee getting worse.
I've been getting out of hand, watching porn, things I don't like doing but since I have a bit of a problem with sex addiction I seem to just not have the strength to stay away. I've now tried finding someone who I can have 'fun' with. While I am looking for someone to go party and drink and what not with, my friend went for a healthy walk.
I'm constantly crying, depressed, thinking about suicide because I'm doing all these things and it does make me unhappy yet at the same time I'm wondering why it even matters if when I was good it got me nowhere. I was dead against drugs, yet I tried smoking tea today. I just don't seem to care about caring for myself anymore. I came to this site for help with my unhealthy sex needs but I think I have worse problems than that. I don't know what to do. All I know is evryone is improving and I am only getting more depressed and hurting myself with my behaviour. I think it can be because the first relationship I was in was with a man ten years older than me who emotionally abused me and when I finally left him and found this great man, he left me. Now I feel like I am worthless, everyone has always treated me that way. Why the one guy who treated me with respect left I don't know. It hurts.

[Leed]

Hi my friend ~ Dearheart, you need therapy, and BADLY. If there is any way you can swing it, please do.

Talk with your doctor, and he can refer you to a good therapist. Therapy is the only way to go at this time. Believe me, it WILL work if you're open minded and WANT the help. I've been thru therapy for severe depression, and believe me it saved my life.

Please - talk to your doctor. You won't regret it. And let us know what happens, okay? God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

[bharani1008]

You may just need a little more help than you expected. It's nothing to be ashamed of. There are millions who are like you. Before you beat yourself up try all the methods of treatment available. They were developed for a reason. So many need this help. You are not alone. Just read all the different posts and you will see.
There is hope for you. Let us know how it goes.
Good luck