[davidsb]

Hi everyone,

A couple of years ago I posted a couple of times on the forum and another couple when I was going through a bad time. I think this forum is a superb outlet for frustrations, angst and issues. I genuinely was so touched by some of the private messages I received from people.

I felt better and stopped logging on due to work commitments- I then forgot about the site! I fell back in waves of good months and bad months. Months I find, not days. I went through a bad period late last year and had a 'weak' attempt at suicide. I say 'weak' as it was a more, "I don't want this, but I don't want that (suicide)"- hard to explain my mindset. I battled, I got through it. I went on a few anti-depressants, however, I felt they made it worse. I got a slight addiction to codeine, alcohol (both i'm over now, however codeine sometimes comes back) and cigarettes.

My depressed feelings came from abandonment by a partner, financial and also work stress. The latter being a long-term problem. I met a girl a couple of months ago and this changed a lot for me. I have probably rushed into things and put us/her under too much pressure. I just really like her and LOVE caring about someone again. It feels like that ray of warm sunshine through a cloud. I need to slow it down obviously! However, I am working away from home again for 3 months, to the same place I was last year. I should add the abandonment last year came from the same trip last year- my partner left me for someone when I came home. Thus, I'm am very anxious not to lose this new girl- this is putting pressure on us and particularly her and I'm afraid it could hit me back to where I was last year.

Anyway, I'm David and I'm back and may need to vent and confide in this community. I also want to be apart of this again. I have experienced many of the feelings that a lot of you have and I look forward to talking to you all.

David

[Vossie42]

Hey there. I'm sorry to hear that things went south for you. It's good that you're back here to talk it out and get support rather than bottling it all up. It's also good that you're not abusing alcohol or codeine anymore. Those will really mess you up and create more problems! I can see why the three months of work away from home is stressing you out. Since it's putting pressure on her, perhaps you should step back a bit and give her room to breathe. The more you pursue her, the more you may actually be pushing her away. I would hate to see that happen to you.

[Leed]

Hi David, and welcome back. I'm glad you're here but I'm sorry you're having some of the same problems.

You can vent all you want to us -- we'll certainly understand. Alot of us have been thru the same thing. And we ALL know about depression -- so let her rip! LOL

You know, if this new girl can't stand by you during this time that you're away, then it certainly doesn't say much for HER. If MY partner was going to be gone due to work, I'd certainly wait for him and NOT play around behind his back and then hit him with a "goodbye" when he got home! That's a horrible thing to do. If I'm with someone, I'm WITH him - and that's that!!! I would hope your girlfriend would feel the same way.

So keep posting, and updating us, okay? We'll be here. Take care, and I look forward to hearing from you again. Hugs, Lee

[Pierro]

Hi David, If she likes you enough she will wait for you..

[davidsb]

Hi guys,

Many thanks for this. I'm pleased to be here again. Vossie42, yes you right- I'm scared about pushing her away and I'm trying to be mindful of that. It is difficult when you want to clutch onto that one good thing I find. Leed, I will update thanks.

Best wishes all