[bigbear68]

My brother sent me a message via fb saying he wants to see me, to come visit him. He is a quad... And has a limited lifestyle . Last time I went to visit he got angry and set of tons of triggers to my PTSD from childhood abuse and neglect. Thus was at Xmas and by Jan I was in the hosp for dwelling on it and extreme depression/suicidal. Now I feel quilty I don't want to visit him. I never told him what happened. He doesn't know I was in the hosp. I am in bad physical ( bone) pain and depression. My therapist called in sick today fir our appt. I feel like I am going crazy in my thoughts. I am actually at a group club type thing Thst my mental health provides, but I still feel so Aline and isolated . I feel like going home and under the covers. Help please, encouraging words welcome.... Bear

[Rohag]

Hello, Bigbear68! I'm sorry your relationship with your brother sandwiches you between guilt and triggers. Whatever you do or don't do, please try to remain safe.

When you last visited your brother, did you visit alone? Would the presence of another person have made it easier or less triggering?

[Bluegerbera1]

Hi bigbear68. How awful for you. I agree with rohag in that taking someone with you can maybe be helpful? No matter your brothers situation, he needs to know that he is hurting you. Is there any way you can let him know some of what happened to you in the past?
If not then maybe you should wait until you feel stronger. You are not going to do either if you any favours by visiting him if he sets you spiralling again.
Good luck

[bharani1008]

I'm so sorry you are in such a difficult position. I can understand the guilt you might feel about your brother given his problems. But if you have such negative experiences when you are with him it's probably not a good idea to put yourself in that position with him again. You can't help him if you are a mess. You need to do what you need to to be safe and strong. Is he the kind of person you can talk to? Is he able to listen? If not then it's not your fault. You can't fix him.
Maybe you could talk to a counselor of some kind and get some specific ideas on how to cope with him. Maybe the relationship forum has some ideas.
In the meantime take care of yourself and post here whenever you need to.
Good luck

[NWgirl2013]

Hang in there. Remember to take care of You first. Maybe it just isn't a good time to visit your bro. You are allowed to say no.
But if you do go, taking a friend is actually a great idea. If it's a "guilt trip", pun intended, this is a good way to keep it light.
My past trauma is Never a topic with family & if you don't want yours to be, that's okay.
Are you a Bigbear or do you live in BigBear? You have friends here. Hope that helps ...