![]() |
FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
#1
|
|||
|
|||
Hello,
I'm Shikma, 22 years old female. (Sorry about my awful English - It's not my first language, I'm from Israel.) I am so messed up,sometimes I wonder how long I will be able to bear it. I have eating disorders(over eating {weighted 130 kg in the past and lost 60 kg}, some BPD symptoms, and depression. Sometimes I feel like I'm such a baby, because I can't deal with life, it's too much for me... I have a lot of things I wish I could do but I am so scared of life. It feels like I'm so lost. I hate it. I hate myself, I hate my life. I hate the fact that I have this %#@&#! up personality. I hate the fact that my life is a mess and I have no idea how to be normal, how to make myself strong and not overwhelmed by everything. I can't do anything anyway, because I am too scared, so I just stay at the same situation, waiting for a miracle, or the end - whatever will come first... And there's the food. I need it so badly, and hate it at the same time. Bing, throw up, try to starve myself… again and again and again... awful. The worst thing - is to be so lonely with it, to sit at home, act like I'm alright, when I just want to fall asleep and never wake up again... ![]() ![]()
__________________
"Let me be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight" |
#2
|
|||
|
|||
(((((((shikma)))))))
welcome to the forum. I'm so sorry you are struggling right now. I hope you have a good therapist to talk to. It helps! |
Reply |
|
![]() |
||||
Thread | Forum | |||
I am a mess... a bonafide mess... | Survivors of Abuse | |||
In A Mess | Psychotherapy | |||
I am never going to get out of this mess... | Other Mental Health Discussion | |||
A Mess | Depression | |||
I'm a big mess | Relationships & Communication |