[justempty]

Hi all,

I haven't been here in a while, and only come when I feel desperate and afraid. You have all always been so nice and understanding and I appreciate it so much. I'm afraid because I don't know if I should be here any more, and I don't know if I can take care of myself. If you have read my other posts, you'll see that my husband died in 2011 and my kids have moved out of the house within the past year, and I am now alone. I just turned 54 in June.

My house is getting to where it needs a lot of things done to it. I don't make much money, and have been trying to take care of what I can afford. But more and more things are going wrong and I'm afraid and don't know what to do. I would try to sell the house, but I think I'd have to make too many repairs I can't afford to be able to do that. I've been trying to keep up on the mowing and yard work myself, but it isn't easy, especially since it seems to be monsoon season around here!! Rain can do so much damage!

I'm really afraid, and I am losing interest in life more all the time. I feel life has passed me by and I don't belong here any more.

Thanks for listening. Any thoughts and/or advice is welcome.

[FeelingOpaque]

Hey! Have you talked to your children about how you're feeling? Or if you're not ready to open up that much quite yet have you told them you need some help adjusting to the changes? Regardless, we all love you here and we'll be here for you if you ever need someone to talk to! What are you afraid of, specifically?

And it seems like you may be having financial issues, but try to get a therapist in your area so you could have a place to vent and get constructive methods to figure out your problems.

[Idiot17]

I don't have either, thoughts or advice. Just sending hugs and good wishes your way.

[H3rmit]

Sounds like the house is too much for you. Selling it would allow you to re-order things. No need to fix everything. For most renos you don't get out what you put in. People want to do it up their way. It's enough to make it clean and ready to use. I have sold a couple of houses, and these simple principles have helped for quick sales. Clean up junk, filth, and undesirable clutter, and that is enough. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk about this any time.

[FeelingOpaque]

I agree with H3rmit, if the house is putting stress on top of your mental battle, let it go. Figure yourself out first.

[unaluna]

There was even an article in the nytimes this weekend about what a hassle home ownership is!