[nicolerose]

i feel really low today i dont even know why

earlier today i was thinking about my parents and i felt anger at them
i havent seen them in many years and they never try to contact me
no word from them over the fourth of july weekend

and i thought, how did life end up like this. its not where i thought id be right now. when i was little, i never thought id be where i am now. its been like this for a long time, it doesnt get better, i cant imagine what can possibly change to get me out of my mess

[ajmich]

Well, not much to go on, but what you've written seems to answer the "why" you feel low.

You feel detached from people you love for "a long time" and that makes you angry, and makes you sad. What can change? Ask yourself honestly what has happened and what stops YOU from contacting your parents or any loved ones? Reach out, if not to them, then to a trusted friend, or better yet a counselor. There are folks who want to help but it's up to you to give yourself that help! Your message here is a good first start, and I hope you take the next step. You do not have to stay so unhappy.

[nicolerose]

well, ive never really been close to my parents. i think that they just dont want anything to do with my life, and it makes me angry, because i wished that i had more loving parents. that would be there for me and actually want to see me. i have tried to reach out to my brother but he does not want to talk to me. and my parents, well they just dont want anything to do with my life. i see other people with loving parents that are supportive and always there for them, and it makes me sad because i never had that. my parents have never been there for me for emotional support. i think its useless to contact my parents because they dont want anything to do with me. they have told me that i embarrass them. i dont really have any other family. or close friends, only acquaintances and if i start to say things that are too personal then it scares them off, it has happened before, where i tried to tell some "friends" what i was going through, and they just stopped talking to me.

[barx]

I don't know much about your family situation but it sounds terrible. To quote "Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do". In other words, you can't change who your family is or how they have chosen to interact with you, but you CAN choose to unhinge from them and surround yourself with better supportive people.

When you interact with friends, are you listening to them and their needs too or do you jump in with your problems? I find it helpful and therapeutic to listen and help other people. By focusing on their problems and helping them out, It tends to take my mind off of my problems for a while.

Have you tried talk therapy or medication or both? I read your other post about getting depressed when you see other pretty girls etc. This makes me wonder if you need Cognitive Behavior Therapy as well... to help make you cognizant of what you think. Our thoughts play a huge role in our mood. Check out Mind over Mood.

[bharani1008]

I think it is perfectly natural to feel the way you are feeling. It is natural to want the love of one's parents and siblings. It's difficult to move on from those developmental years and create a present that we can feel good about. If what you say is true then you just have to consciously create a new life. Do you have any interests? It doesn't have to be a big deal. Here on this site are lots of social groups that share personal opinions and insights on enjoyable day to day activities. I've greatly enjoyed the club about TV shows. There are two book clubs that I find really fun. The people in these clubs are sweet and smart and always kind. Look around your community. Do you have a community college or community center? Do you have any religious or spiritual leanings that you might like to explore? I've read in many places that one's work place is becoming one's new family. I'm not sure how far I would like to buy into a workplace family because people move around so much but a church or community center would be much more stable. Volunteer your time to good causes and stay as busy as you can. It's a wonderful feeling to be useful and this can be completely fulfilling. Stop chasing after what you cannot have and see what is possible.
I hope you feel better soon and keep us posted on your exploration.

[nicolerose]

Originally Posted by bharani1008

I think it is perfectly natural to feel the way you are feeling. It is natural to want the love of one's parents and siblings. It's difficult to move on from those developmental years and create a present that we can feel good about. If what you say is true then you just have to consciously create a new life. Do you have any interests? It doesn't have to be a big deal. Here on this site are lots of social groups that share personal opinions and insights on enjoyable day to day activities. I've greatly enjoyed the club about TV shows. There are two book clubs that I find really fun. The people in these clubs are sweet and smart and always kind. Look around your community. Do you have a community college or community center? Do you have any religious or spiritual leanings that you might like to explore? I've read in many places that one's work place is becoming one's new family. I'm not sure how far I would like to buy into a workplace family because people move around so much but a church or community center would be much more stable. Volunteer your time to good causes and stay as busy as you can. It's a wonderful feeling to be useful and this can be completely fulfilling. Stop chasing after what you cannot have and see what is possible.
I hope you feel better soon and keep us posted on your exploration.

i do enjoy tv shows and sometimes i try to browse communities online
tv shows and movies are a getaway from all the bad things going on in my life sometimes, sometimes it helps

but there are times, like recently that i cant find the motivation to watch the tv series, i havent watched much tv shows for a couple months

i try to stay positive but i fail a lot at this, a lto of the times i just end up wondering, what is the point of doing this
that the things that i do, dont have much meaning for me
and i cannot get myself to do something like volunteer, even if i know that it makes me a good person, its like i think my life has no meaning that i dont care if it makes me a good person or not, so then i dont volunteer or do anything else thats good