[Poppy Princess]

Today I canceled with my therapist permanently. I've decided not to continue any kind of treatment. I'm giving up because I've come to the conclusion that I don't deserve happiness. Even if I had it, it would be in the wrong hands. I've decided I don't want happiness to be mine. I know it sounds crazy but I know I don't deserve happiness. I've decided not to fight depression but to accept it as my punishment.

[doggiedo]

I'm sorry you feel like this. I know your feelings are very real and powerful, but maybe your depression and stuff is clouding your right to deserve to be happy. I have felt like that before, but even despite my desire to discontinue, I know I must.

What did your counselor say when you cancelled your appts permanently? I think deep down you might know this isn't the best idea because you are posting here? Just a thought.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Poppy Princess

I only see my therapist once a month which is makes me kinda sad in and of itself. We don't really seem to connect though. We still haven't figured out the reasons behind my depression. I don't actually expect us to at only one session a month though...

This is the therapist you've cancelled? Doesn't sound like much of a therapeutic relationship.

Constantly "fighting" depression can be psychically exhausting. Wishing you rest...

[Poppy Princess]

Well, I got a new therapist after that one. I'm going to stay on this forum because I've met people on here who want to stay and I don't want to stop contact with them.

Big-g-g- mistake, Poppy Princess, in my view.

I can understand your giving up an ineffective psychiatrist, but there are many more
out there who are quite good and you do need therapy. It is true that your thinking
may be clouded by depression.

Get another psychiatrist, please. Talk to him about Deplin (see Deplin.com for more information).

I noticed that your feeling tone is "afraid". You need to talk about that with a
psychiatrist because that fear may just be the cause of your depression.

Most of us have gotten sick and tired (one even calls herself "thick and tired"--I know what
she means) of depression and we've resolved to do everything possible to get it under
control each day. You could do the same thing as easily as any one of us has done
and continues to do on a daily basis.

You have nothing in your life, I suspect, that means you should punish yourself for
the rest of your life! You recognize that we're human, not gods, and everyone has
made mistakes. Read a little paperback called "Forgiving and Moving On" or "Keep It Simple".

Remember, get that new psychiatrist if you will, please, and forgive and move on after you've talked about the thing you are afraid of with a more compassionate psychiatrist. Getting that out in the privacy of his/her office is the major step toward recovery from depression.

Self-image will improve and so will every other quality in your life. It's up to you; we'll
be here to support where we are able, and you keep us informed about how you're
getting along. Okay?

Take care.

[kaliope]

Well I hope you get the support you need here

Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk 4 Beta

[winter4me]

All of the above & hugs to you. We just go from one day to the next, some are better than others; celebrate the good moments----when we are so down, we can't imagine there ever was or will be a good time, but that is our depression talking...I am glad you have made some connections here you don't want to give up. It is called hope.

[Poppy Princess]

I feel consumed. Everyday is the same thing. I don't know if I can make it through life anymore.

[herethennow]

Without T, are you able to keep yourself safe and have someone to confide too when you feel like you're leaking all over the place (figuratively)?

Giving up T is one thing, but giving up the fight is another thing. All of us deserve happiness.. be it really tiny ones or the opposite.

I guess you could take a break, and when you're ready, please do continue the battle.