Reaching that point of desperation

I don't feel people intend suicide. I believe individuals with life long depression and gender dysphoria who suffer job loss and the prospects of losing their house, job discrimination and are turned down for SSD and realize they have 20 years still to pay their mortgage and if they sell their house now because they are forced to when they do not want to because they have no place to go and know they will lose because they paid high and have to sell low and make up for deficiency somehow and have had a family history of depression and suicide finally realize they have no other choice and if they are assured the policies they own honor the two year suicide clause and policy holder has held the policies for many years and this is the only way to protect their family and finally no longer be in pain then suicide seems like an option. The only problem is that your family and child will suffer so in reality you can't win whatever you decide but suicide will help your family keep their house and allow them to pay the mortgage and debts so they can remain in house. It really is a very sad reality to have to face especially when all your life you knew you were female and finally transitioning and finding happiness only to take your life in the end due to financial pressures, concern for family and desperation. I just can't help but cry. This is such a sad statement for the world we live in and if you see how many people are suffering it just seems this is a real possibility.

hi emilyi
welcome to psych central. people choose suicide as an option for many reasons, mainly an escape from the hopelessness of life's situations, the pain life has to offer,whether physical or emotional. we hope with the support we have to offer here at PC, a few less people make that choice. we have many forums here you can post to and receive feedback from members. you will get lots of support here. again, welcome.

I can't tell you how gripping your story is, EmilyI.

Isn't there some way you can see a financial advisor and look for alternatives in your
life to resolve your problems? Surely there must be a way for you to maintain stability
for your life and that of your children. Please look into alternative choices before
you decide to sell your home.

I hope the economy is slowly improving and that home sales will increase with higher
values on the market. It does happen, you know, in cycles.

Please do consider holding on and trying for another job of some type with the help
of financial advisors on your side.

Keep in touch as you need to.

Take care, too.

I know the deep wish for freedom through suicide. But as you so poignantly said----living is the greatest gift we can do for our loved ones. That is the main point that prevented me from acting. I've never regretted it because a short time after that I met a psychiatrist who ultimately found the medications I need to feel normal.
Try to look at it this way. You will die one day no matter what. You may as well wait for that time and try to live as well as you can in the meantime.
Talk to your family and tell them the situation you are in. Maybe that will help you bear the burden you have now. Tell them you love them.
Please try to hang on
Just post here as often as often as you wish, We are here to listen

Thank you all of you! I am happy to be here and grateful for your kindness and support. Emily

Emily, I totally understand what you are saying. It has been a consideration of mine for years. I do have a life insurance policy that is past the 2 year mark for suicide. Right now I have found myself in a tight spot due to health insurance. The company I work for offers the worst health policy I've ever seen. They will pay for only a 2 day hospital stay. With some of my health issues I could be wiped out with one illness. I definitely worry about losing my home and not having a place to go. That insuance policy would at least add some means for my family. As you can probably tell I'm deep in depression and can't see a way out. None of the drugs work. Life is **** and I wouldn't mind taking a break from it.
Gayle

Dear Gayle,
I know what severe depression, financial insecurity and raising an autistic son with autism and how my family is affected by my male to female transgender situation which has landed me in 3 different hospitals in the past three months. I know where you are coming from and wish I could help you. What I can do is present links to my writings which may help as it helps me when I am up to writing and sharing.

Please feel free to reach out to me and thank you for sharing and if there is anything I can do to ease your depression let me know. Maybe we can work it out together.

Thank you,

Emily

Suicide is an escape, a way to get rid of problems and sadness. If you have more crap then you can cope with, it's normal to consider it, but try and hold on to life as much as you can.