[themonster7]

I erased my friends number from my phone along time ago because I lost grip on reality and was calling her every night telling her depressing thoughts. Finally she told me she couldn't handle it so I erased her a number. Two weeks later I asked if I could have it back over facebook... She responded with a heart and told me she hopes I feel better soon. She was my support group. I have no one now. After a month I sent her a long message explaining that I was now suicidal and she never even responded... My life is truly meaningless and worthless now. All that makes sense anymore is alcohol.

Ups
I finally made 2000 posts
Downs
Now I cant find the instructions on how to change the field under my handle.

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by tigerlily84

I was passed up for a promotion at work by someone who has barely worked there since May! I've been there 4 years. I'm done with that place.

Sorry about this tigerlily It appears that they don't deserve you. If you're looking for other employment, wishing you the best of luck with that

[whimsygirl]

I know things would be different if I was able to believe that some day I could have "real" friends"....the kind that care about me enough to think I'm worth working things out with if there's a problem, the kind that are able to accept that the depression I suffer from is not scary, but rather just something going haywire with the chemicals in my brain (plus other mysterious factors)....or that it's like when they were grieving over the loss of their loved one, but just without a specific reason. But so far I haven't found those people ....and I don't have much hope that I ever will. The last person who was a big part of my life, and who was supposedly my bff, couldn't understand....but what's worse she couldn't even respect me enough to admit that, despite the fact that it was so obvious. So in the end she just threw me out of her life like a piece of trash and has completely "shunned" me for a year and a half now. Screening my calls, not responding to the long letter I wrote her, and ignoring it every time I told her how painful it was not to have any idea what had happened. I stopped trying to communicate with her a long time ago now. Bottom line....The Prayer of Serenity is the guiding force in my life, but I am stuck at "God give me the serenity to accept the things I can not change". Yes I have to accept the fact that I can't make people care about me....or to love me....but I also don't know how long I can go on feeling so alone. To anyone who made it through this....thank you ~whimsy

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by will19

Also, last night, the only friend I have and I got into a disagreement. I gave him a little critique about himself and he didn't like it at all. But he gives me criticisms all of the time. Everything from about how I am as a person to how my place is set up. You name it and he criticizes it. But yet he can't take criticisms for himself.

will19....I'm so sorry about all you've mentioned here, but this part made me especially sad, and I relate very much. I feel like I'm quite possibly near where you are about this, and I know how much it hurts when something doesn't go well with someone you see as your last friend. I pray that in the future you will have kind, caring friends who appreciate who you are and do not constantly criticize. You deserve that. Sending a big hug ~whimsy

[oliamble]

At the pool with my son, he is enjoying the swim. I'm so happy for him. I'm feeling not as much energetic as other days, would say a little down today, and a light headache, but I have intentions of making this day's worth. Happy Labor Day everyone.

[Grey Matter]

Apparently, I am giving up. Eh.

I can't get out of bed. I can't leave my room. I socialized with my mom and dad for a full hour before I felt like having a meltdown. My room is a wreck, which is making it worse, and I can't find the energy to do anything about it. I was doing so well for a few weeks. Now I have no friends locally, no one to care, and I am going through all of this, physically, alone.

pretty much a good stress free day.
If i can just keep stress out of my life i can actually function.
Add stress and I turn into a mess.

[dandylin]

A good day. I accomplished a great deal. Caught up with school work and I think I have an extra good handle on Philosophy!

[Nammu]

_________________________________________________________

[Ganymede00]

The therapist I wanna see emailed me back and we are trying to set up an appointment by phone. I hate talking on the phone so we'll see if he accepts to see me in person instead. I'm nervous about seeing yet another therapist but I've come to learn that in therapy (and life), I have to take what works for me and leave what doesn't.

[angryworld]

Don't like the heat. Had some very bleak thoughts about my dead end job, I have no idea where the money's going to come from when I get really sick. But here I am at the end of the day feeling ok. I think that should count for something.

[tigersassy]

So tired. Was up too late. Going to sleep after work.

[tokiwartooth]

I broke down on Sunday after church. I just couldn't hold it all in. Then I had a headache for the rest of the day because of that. But he gave me a nice big hug, twice, and it just felt so good to hold him, and it helped me a little bit.

[herethennow]

Went out with a friend.. caught a movie, accompanied her shopping. All the while inside, I feel like this is my last day with her and that I should go soon....

[themonster7]

I'm sick of being like this. The only thing that can change me is me, and I've proven to myself time and time again I have to strength to do something about it, so now I will.

I'm really tired of feeling so anxious and depressed, I've made a mess of my whole life

[Grey Matter]

Downs; Hospital visit (where my doctor is) for more tests etc etc. I am terrified I am going to break down in tears.

[tokiwartooth]

I can say one thing, since I started Nutrisystem, I'm not as tired as I was when I was eating badly. I'm tired, yes, but it is so much better than before. I guess it's getting my blood sugar regulated and that's helping a lot. I've lost 7 pounds so far, 93 to go.

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by tokiwartooth

I've lost 7 pounds so far, 93 to go.

Congrats....And good luck going forward!