I FEEL crazy...

I can feel myself running down...

Maybe it's just the weather... it's rainy, dreary and chilly...

But I'm afraid it's not.

I'm stuck on things... feel like I can't get anywhere...

I get stuck on suicide thoughts, too...

I ought to be doing things:
I ought to be spending time with God - but I'm distant and lazy.
I ought to be spending time around people - but I'm disconnected and tired.
I ought to be spending time in creativity - but I stare into space or at mindless computer games.
I ought to be spending time learning my languages - but I wait until the last minute and skid through my classes.
I ought to be spending time sprucing up my space - but I leave things in piles and only wash when I have no other choice.

I can feel myself falling... if I don't change soon I'll fall for real... for the last time.

I don't know what to do.

((((((Taonuviel))))))

I'm sorry that you feel like you're slipping - you're not alone in that. I really know how you feel about the list of things you ought to be doing ... those things are important yes, but first you need to take care of yourself - in doing so you can accomplish a lot of those things.

*hugs* take care of yourself and I hope you're starting to feel better soon.

PS. I don't know if you're seeing a therapist, but if you're not it might be a good idea. And if you are, tell them how you feel. Print off your post even, it can help

((((((( HUGS ))))))))

I hear YOU for I was exactly where you are now just a few days ago..... Hang in there and keep on talking to all the wonderful ppl here on PC - they helped me from doing some thing stupid and they can help YOU too.

LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

**hugs**
Hope you feel better soon.