wrong song

I'm on here to get myself off another site before i self destruct. I know better than to hunt down a song that is going to take me to the edge. Now i can't stop listening. The song is from Linkin Park "Leave out all the Rest". No idea why it popped into my head and its so easy to find songs these days on youtube or a dozen other sites.

Those of you who are overly sensitive to music will have an idea of what it does. I close my eyes and see myself pointing a gun at my head. I need to shake this feeling, which is like asking an addict not to take drugs. Nothing in particular happened to make me seek this song out. Sometimes I wonder if songwriters have any idea of how much power, good and bad, they produce when they write. It will be days before this stops. Each time it does, I wonder if or how I'll come out the other end.

Sam2

I wonder the same.

Sam2, you have survived thus far. How have you done it? Can you even say?

((hugs)) I do similar things with certain sings, but I think we talked about that already.
Is there any way to focus on something else?
Can you step away from the music at this point. I would miss you if you followed through on that impulse... :/

People in my family always wonder why I don't listen to music since I love it so much. The reason is that I cry most of the time I hear it. it moves me so much that it is an actual cramping feeling I get in my chest. I'm tired of crying no matter what the cause.
I'm very selective. I listen to space music which I find to be soothing and emotion neutral. It has its' own kind of beauty.
Listen to other music to block what you have in your head. It should be intense enough to grab your attention but not trigger your emotions. Like I said space music is about all that does this for me.
Of course this is obvious so you'll have done it already

As a music lover, I know how powerful songs are. My strong reactions to them have caused me to call my daily listening "music therapy." Linkin Park is definitely on my list, but there are some songs on "Minutes to Midnight" that I avoid. I recommend their latest album, "Living Things." It is more upbeat due to the techno, but still has those powerful emotions that do not cause me, personally, to become more depressed. Any who, Enya ("Carribean Blue") is great for relaxation and might clear up your mind. You have to find a catchy song to replace "Leave out the Rest" that isn't as depressing (leave sounds like bleed after all). Something like... Papa Roach's "Still Swingin" or Three Day's Grace "Unbreakable Heart" or Black Veil Brides' "Wretched and Divine." Whatever your preference is, just avoid the ones you cannot handle emotionally.

Edit: "Beautiful" by P.O.D. is stronger, but I think you'll like it.

I'm fighting the urge not to go back to the site. In part, it turned out to be an aura to a bad migraine breakthrough. I only have one rescue injection left until the Thurs after this one so I have to wait it out. That just compounds things.

Rohag, how do I get through it? I have no idea. I try to think of the effect it would have on other people. My parents are eighty now, and to lose their son to suicide at this point would be something they don't need to spend the last years of their life with.

I know I'll wind up back on that site fairly soon. Funny, I thought the singer was a female til I saw one of the videos. I can't replace songs that overpower me with something else. A song has to do something for me, and unfortunately, instead of making me happy or just enjoying the song, the really powerful ones are the ones I am attracted to. I think Leave out all the Rest is from Minutes to Midnight. The first time I heard it was on CSI las vegas. Songs don't have to remind me of anything, some just evoke a powerful feeling of pain.

I recently saw an interview, an old one, with Elton John, (another artist I can't listen to). I always wondered how an artist could play and sing something that was so painful without breaking down. He talked about Empty Garden, the song written about John Lennon's death, and he said he rarely plays it in concert because it is so emotionally difficult.

I need to get off the light of the computer. Thank you for all your support.

Sam2

.......

This is something I hear a lot of depressed people say. I guess it's one symptom I've never had. I can listen to any kind of music any time.

I feel sad for you though. Sending hugs <3