[gloaming]

Hi, there. I'm new here to the board and thought I'd share my story. Three months ago I had a massive depressive episode and had to quit my job at the small nonprofit where I was a senior-level accountant (no FMLA there). Depression has been a recurring thing for me for the past 25 years, usually about every four months. This episode has been one of the worst, though.

Three weeks ago I went on welfare because my savings had run out, and even though I don't feel up to returning to work, I've been desperately looking for another job. One of the problems is because of this illness, there have been times in my life where I couldn't work for extended periods, so my credit is LOUSY. No one wants to hire an accountant with bad credit. Plus, I'm so depressed I don't interview well anymore.

My days consist of staying in my apartment (no money, so there isn't a whole lot else to do) with my little dogs watching documentaries on Netflix and sending out resumes. The isolation is making me feel so much worse.

My therapist recently resigned, and they haven't found a replacement for him yet. I've been on so many different meds, and they just don't seem to work. Currently on Effexor and Abilify for depression as well as klonopin and prazosin for agoraphobia and PTSD. My psychiatrist is one of those "just snap out of it" people (pretty awful for a psychiatrist IMO), so she's not very helpful.

I'm so lonely. My ex-husband has my two sons most of the time because I don't always feel up to watching them. My parents are out of town on an extended vacation (another month to go). All my friends got tired of me and pretty much abandoned me. My boyfriend is still here, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time before he can't take it anymore. I see him a few times a week, and it seems like that's the only time I'm happy.

I'm so tired of being alone and isolated all the time. Currently trying to find a local support group just so I won't feel so lonely.

Well, thanks for listening. I guess it's time to tune into Netflix.....

[online user]

Thanks for sharing your story. Hope you can find a new therapist so you have someone in your corner to whom to talk. Might be a good idea to look around for a new psychiatrist too. Thank goodness you have the little dogs and the boyfriend. Do write in again and tell us how you are doing.

[HealingNSuffering]

Sorry to hear that you are so lonely, I can sympathize with your situation, my depression got worse on the SSRI I tried. I have atypical depression, I can get happy if the circumstances provide for it, I also have PTSD as well. But unfortunately my life is mess, I also have no job and am seeking employment. When I was in better health I would go for walks around the neighborhood because I was so stressed.

I do think group therapy would help, I feel isolated and lonely all the time as well. At least you have a relationship going for you. Cherish it because having emotional support is crucial for recovery. Seems like the only time I feel like I'm with my people is with other people who suffer from mental issues. My only friend that I keep in touch with also suffers from depression and anxiety. Hope things turn around for the both of us, being broke on top of depression is like being kicked while you are on the ground.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Gloaming. Thank you for joining.

Originally Posted by gloaming

My psychiatrist is one of those "just snap out of it" people...

Have you looked into SSDI?

[widowlost]

I feel your pain. Total lonliness here. No income, no car. Sometimes its more than i can stand. I had a disability hearing so waiting to hear their decision and they are taking there sweet time. Anyway sorry to hear your in a similar situation . I hope things get better for you.

[gloaming]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Hello & Welcome, Gloaming. Thank you for joining.



Have you looked into SSDI?

I've actually applied for it but have no idea where in the process it is. I'm so confused all the time it's hard to figure out what I need to do next.

[Fuzzybear]

....

Welcome, gloaming...I hope you feel better soon.

[Pierro]

Hello Gloaming, You are going through a very tough time at the moment, thats very clear. I felt like you also where I got so confused I couldn't think straight. Being unemployed at the best of times is very hard but when you are trying to look for work with depression is unimaginable. I commend you, you sound very strong even though you dont feel it now but you have an inner strength that wil get you through this very difficult period in your life. As for the psychiatrist telling you to "snap out of it"is very upsetting. I wish you all the best and hope that you keep up with your therapy. Best wishes.