[tealBumblebee]

I think it goes without saying that when you fall into the pits of depression, everything you once loved seems to just fade into the blackness. I feel like I can finally peek my head out of that darkness, and begin to see some healing. Granted its a long journey, but its a journey - which is more than i've been doing for about the last 2-3 years (#TealFact - I was depressed looong time before joining the forum lol.)

I've always enjoyed writing (poems, novels, short stories were my favorite). Even my family members (the cause of many of my problems) have said that i have always had a natural ability in writing. And I'm kind of leaning towards wanting to get back into it - but who knew that picking up a pencil would be so hard???

I can envision myself writing, maybe not successfully, its been a long time - but just, you know, getting back into things. But I can't seem to act on it. It just seems so - laborious.

Part of me feels that I'm just afraid to try to do anything anymore. And then part of me is thinking about all the previous writings I have that I destroyed in high school (deleted from computers, burned my old notebooks - I was a rebel lol). I feel like this could be the big push for me - but the whole "just do it" attitude isn't processing. Any suggestions?

Hmm, here is where I am at the moment, perhaps we are similar. I am a horse person, but when I get depressed, I dont do it. I am feeling fine now and I am trying to get back into it, but it is really hard. Part of me is worried that I wont love it like I used to, part of me thinks I wont have the energy and part of me thinks it is all too hard to bother with.

So Im starting small. I go out everyday and do one thing with the horse, if I find I am enjoying myself, I'll keep going. If I find it hard, I'll stop when the short daily task is finished. Either way I come back with a sense of achievement. So far I have found that I do enjoy it and I stay out there longer than intended, but Im not back to riding yet.

Could it be the same with writing? Maybe sit for 2 minutes a day to start with and just write down whatever you are thinking. If you get into it expand, but if you dont, well at least you gave it a try, and maybe you will feel better about it tomorrow.

[tealBumblebee]

Originally Posted by Supanova

Hmm, here is where I am at the moment, perhaps we are similar. I am a horse person, but when I get depressed, I dont do it. I am feeling fine now and I am trying to get back into it, but it is really hard. Part of me is worried that I wont love it like I used to, part of me thinks I wont have the energy and part of me thinks it is all too hard to bother with.

So Im starting small. I go out everyday and do one thing with the horse, if I find I am enjoying myself, I'll keep going. If I find it hard, I'll stop when the short daily task is finished. Either way I come back with a sense of achievement. So far I have found that I do enjoy it and I stay out there longer than intended, but Im not back to riding yet.

Could it be the same with writing? Maybe sit for 2 minutes a day to start with and just write down whatever you are thinking. If you get into it expand, but if you dont, well at least you gave it a try, and maybe you will feel better about it tomorrow.

This sounds like a good idea. Right now, for some weird reason, the most important thing to me is a pencil. Not a mechanical pencil. A regular wooden pencil. The smell feels important. With a sharp tip. Maybe that'll be my task for tomorrow - getting some new fresh sharpened pencils. Thanks! And good luck on your horses! I'm glad you are finding that you still love being with them =]

I hope it works for you as it is for me Goodluck

[Pierro]

Why dont you try just writing words, single words. Maybe the process is just too daunting at the moment but sometimes all you need is a word to get you "thinking" about writing. Best wishes and I hope in time your words will "flow".

[tealBumblebee]

Originally Posted by Pierro

Why dont you try just writing words, single words. Maybe the process is just too daunting at the moment but sometimes all you need is a word to get you "thinking" about writing. Best wishes and I hope in time your words will "flow".

Thanks. =] I will give it a try. I bought some fresh pencils and two really nice journals today (one is reversible - dependant on mood!) I'm just working up the courage to write in them because they're so fresh/untainted right now. I don't want to mess them up with pointless writing. Maybe my first post will just be a word(s).

[jesuis-lavie]

Im in the same boat too. I play a sport, but havnt been to practice in a month. I just moved to a new city and have to start with a new team, but am simply scared to go. I have tryouts tomorrow and am having extreme anxiety. I know I will make the team, but adjusting to new people (some I know who have very dominate personalitites!) is overhwhelming to me. But I remember how much I love the sport and that it will make way to a healthier lifestyle, new friends, and connecting with my community. When I have those small spells of happiness and excitement, I use that time to take a few more steps in the right direction.. if that makes any sense lol