[russells]

I just can't help my thoughts at the moment. The after life is so much more appealing than this one.

I want to pass over to there and live in the world of Spirit, to be closer to the cosmos.

I'm generally quite level, my doc upped my sertraline today to 100mg but surely it won't change my opinion on life?

I keep getting drawn to my medication, an urge to swallow them, an urge to walk to a tall bridge...I'm really sorry to express myself in this way - but it's what's going on in my head these last few days.

[Edda]

Suicide might fast track you into something that is described as hell. Seriously, mate, we don't know! I am suicidal, off the scale just way too often but I have no proof that death is the end of it all.
It's bad enough as it is - I sure don't want to risk it to continue for eternity.

[tealBumblebee]

Is there anyone (a therapist, pastor, friend, family member, doctor, school counselor, heck neighbor) that you can share these thoughts with that can help you work through them?

I'm sorry that you are feeling so low at this time - but the prev. poster had a good point - even if you don't believe in Hell - NO ONE knows if life after death is really greener pastures. That thought alone keeps me here sometimes.

Also, try to remember - that at some point. Life was better. Not necessarily great. But better than now. Try to hold onto that and envision that another better time will come again. Maybe not tomorrow - but there will be better days.

I hope this helps, and again - i'm sorry to hear that you are feeling this way!

[puzzclar]

I've felt that way many times, but what if the way you are living now would continue pass this life.... wouldn't that be worse??

[Rose76]

I'm sorry, russells, that this life seems so bad to you. I know the feeling. Swallowing a lot of medication could do damage to you that might not kill you. Life could then end up even worse. I hope the increased Sertraline helps you. Let us know how this is working. A lot of us really do know what you are feeling. It is awfully hard.

[cricket67]

I have felt this way as well, however, I have looked into different beliefs, and honestly none of us know the truth about death, I do know this, My luck is so bad, that I most likely wouldn't do " it " right and end up way worse than I already am, I can't imagine my depression on top of maybe being paralyzed or brain damaged or disfigured. now with that being said, I have been in a great many situations such as car accidents that weren't my fault, but that should have either killed me or left me severely crippled, And they didn't. I have also walked in bad neighborhoods, and have not had one bad incident. All these situations have only shown me one consistent thing, I survived for something, of course I am not suppose to know what this " something" is, and as bad as I feel with my depression and Crohns disease and my childhood molestation, I have to keep this in mind, there were plenty of chances for my life to have been taken, so with this I think, I know that if the universe didn't take me and God didn't take me, then I surely wouldn't succeed in doing it. I am not a gambler, so if I wouldn't gamble money, then why would I take such a risky chance with my life. trust me, I am not happy and I believe death would end suffering, but that is my belief, but what if it isn't that way at all, what we don't know is so immense. We could all be here right now, suffering and in pain and going through all of this because maybe we have died already and we could all be in hell, this could be hell, how would we know? bottom line is there are to many questions and open ended " what if's " for me, so I have made peace with the at least that portion of my life, I am going to keep on going, good, bad or indifferent and in pain and probably depression, until whatever powers that be decide I have met my debt. Maybe this has helped someone,hopefully, we all want to think that death is the cure all but truth be told it could be just the start of something all together different that we would regret. Remember this, The grass IS NOT always greener on the other side. Cricket.