Don't know what to do anymore

I have no idea where to even begin. Dx with depression and type one bipolar, for many years, and things do not seem to be getting better. My weekends are the worst and find my self more suicidal on these days. If it weren't for my kids, I would have gone a long time ago. But even then, all the medication I am on (which DOES NOT work) I feel flat. I feel like I cant even love my husband or my own kids. I am cold hearted and do not even want to be hugged or kissed. My husband tries his best, but doesnt know how to help. I'm yelling, I'm irritable and just feel there is no hope for me, to become happy.

Hello & Welcome, Linzbug4ever. I wouldn't be surprised if both the illnesses and the medications are contributing to the flatness. Have you discussed this with your prescribing doctor(s)? Is there any time during the week when you feel relatively better (just before or after a weekend, in the middle of the work week)?

Hello, linzbug4ever.



Hope you will find things to improve at some point. There are more PC members than I who have experienced similar challenges.

I found the Distractions forums in the Games forums helped me work through the difficult times. And I enjoyed some moment away from darker thoughts into the light of the smoother days. Hope one of us PC members can give you the feedback to lighten your load.

If you are feeling to the point of self harm and don't feel the meds are working, going inpatient might be the best idea. You would be safe and the drs could work on your meds while observing you instead of handing you a rx and sending you home and hoping for the best. It would give you a time out from the stress at home. I know when I went, I needed it, to be away from my husband and kids and everything associated with home and all the anxiety involved. I had medicines added too that helped my bipolar depression and anxiety stabilize.
That's only a suggestion, not everyone feels the same way about the hospital.

I have felt like that. In fact am pretty much feeling like that now. My meds aren't working either. Last time I saw my pdoc he just raised my Seroquel. So far, all that has done it make me sleep 12 hours a day instead of the 10 hours I was already sleeping. You might get the idea I'm not very happy and you would be right. I had already told I had taken Seroquel once before and it did no good but he insisted on trying it anyway. I'm going to give it another week before I demand something different.

I would go back to my doctor and let him know that your medications are not working and insist he try something else for you.