[blueredgrey]

i was diagnosed with depression in 2010 and i am out of it now .

recently a conversation with my family popped up....and i happened to say that i didn't feel very supported, emotionally, by my family during that time. as far as i remember, my mom just ignored it....she never asked me how my sessions went, she never told me "you can talk to me whenever you feel like"...she never asked me when and why i stopped therapy. everytime i returned from a session.....it was pretty much as if i had gone out to pay the electricity bill.

my brother, on the other hand tried his best to prove that i didn't have depression. he threw up "research" which talked about how certain hormonal problems can mimic depression (i have hormonal problems). infact, when i told him that i was depressed his first sentence was "i don't why you are so desperate to prove to us that something is wrong with you". he went on to say "i would never go to a shrink...rather....i would talk to family about my problems"....and pretty much since that time....he has taken every opportunity to belittle shrinks....he calls them "useless".

now, since the conversation popped up......my family claims they were very supportive. my mom claims that she "discussed" my sessions. she claims she wanted to insist coming along with me, but left me because she wanted to give me "space". my brother rubbishes any argument of him not being supportive and counters by giving examples of when he was supportive of me and instead he claims that he has no memory of incidents when "he was not supportive".

Why don't I have any memory of my family supporting me???? The incidents they speak of 'supporting me' really sound like a piece of fiction to me and the incidents which I speak of 'not supporting me' sound like a piece of fiction to them.

My family are good people and I have no doubt of that. There are many, many instances where they supported me wholeheartedly....but my depression was one place where I felt like I was battling out all alone. Infact, one of the reasons I moved on was because I convinced myself that I cannot expect any support from my family, thus cutting off all the hurt.

What's your take on this?? IYO, am I blocking out memories of my family's support or has my family created fake memories of where they support me??

Any thought is hugely appreciated and pls feel free to type whatever you feel....it will not change the way I love my family or the way I think of myself.

thanks a ton!!

[Miss_M]

Not knowing you or your family, I couldn't say which one of you remembers it accurately. I know some people just have poisonous families and a lot of lies and mis-remembering of shared pasts does happen. Then again, depression affects your mind pretty heavilly while you're dealing with it, so it is possible that you don't remember things accurately yourself.

Honestly, I think you may be the only one can decide which scenario is true. If your family has supported you in the past and you are in a good place now, it may be best to just let it slide and let them believe they supported you, whether that is the case or not, so that you can move on and get on with enjoying your life.
That said, if you find your family tending to claim to be supportive after the fact without having actually done so, especially if it happens on a regular basis, you may want to look at moving out and getting distance from them for a while, to clear the air if nothing else.

[themonster7]

Depression skews so many thoughts and memories that it is possible they were supportive and you didn't believe it.
I had a similar situation with a friend that was there for me for a long time and then I somehow just convinced myself she didn't care and didn't talk to her for 3 weeks (felt like a lifetime) and she was reaching out and checking up on me, and now I see her at least once a week.
I'm not saying you're family wasn't there, I have no way of knowing what really happened. I'm just saying it is very possible to warp what is really happening in your mind with depression. Hope you can hang in there and figure this all out.

[blueredgrey]

Thank you for your replies guys.....it was really helpful.

Yes, I think I only remember their initial reaction, which was not so positive, but maybe they really helped me....but I was so deep in depression that, maybe, I have no memory of it.

Thanks a zillion!