How?!?!

At the beginning/middle of this year I opened up to my counsellor at school that I self-harmed. It was my first time and I was freaking out. But she only made it worse by calling my parents immediately. Since then I have been unable to disclose the truth to her about how bad everything has been getting. I feel like I am unable to trust her because of how easily she tells my parents things.

But I really need help with my ongoing self-harm, depression and (not diagnosed, but almost 2 year long) eating disorder. I think she knows that I have bigger issues than I've told her and that I'm finding it hard to tell her, because she is going to be sending me to a another counsellor next year, outside of school, so that they can see me more often. I already see her once every 1-1 1/2 weeks.

What I want to know is, do you think the other counsellor be any different with my parents and confidentiality (I have heard that some keep everything but immediate suicide risk confidential) and how/what do I tell them?? Should I bring a friend who knows with me, write a letter, an email...???

Does anyone have any experience with this??

Hello & Welcome, Noonehearsmecry.

I'm guessing: your counsellor called your parents in compliance with some directive or guidance established for her by the school. Especially in view of how bad things are getting, you have a right to ask her why she called your parents. Did she act according to an established protocol? What are the dictates of that protocol or guidance? You can even tell her you are now reluctant to discuss all you feel necessary with her due to the possible requirement to inform your parents.
By "next year" do you mean the next school year or 2014? A counsellor or therapist outside the school might be working with a different set of confidentiality requirements, but that is something you should ask them directly. You have a right to know.

Please try not to be intimidated by these counsellors. They can only be of help if they get the right information, and if you do not feel free to offer that information then there's a basic contradiction in the therapeutic arrangement.

Again, welcome to PsychCentral.

The counselor I saw had me sign a form agreeing that he wasn't allowed to tell ANYBODY anything about me unless he had reason to believe I would hurt myself.

I don't think it was a good idea to tell your situation to a school guidance councilor, they are there to advise you about classes. You need to see a psychologist or therapist who is trained on mental health and whose concern is you, not school. The name can be misleading and is why they told your parents, I would never trust a school councilor. My psychologists have told me that everything is confidential, they only seek outside help if they believe you are a danger to yourself, danger to others, or are in danger due to an abuser.

All you have to do is show up and share anything about your life, even if it's about your cat or something, you just need to talk. This therapist is your new best friend who will give you insight into your life and will listen to everything you say. As the relationship builds, you may feel more secure in disclosing your more inner thoughts. I assume you are a minor, if you are being seriously abused you may be taken away from your home to a more safer place. I'm not trying to scare you or anything, but this is something you want to keep in mind if you are being abused. Also, if you have a mental medical condition it will be easier to treat you with proper medication.

Oh, she's not a school guidance counsellor. At least, not in the way that you are thinking. She is a proper trained counsellor, there to help students suffering from anything ranging from stress in class to severe depression and mental health issues like bipolar. She's dealt with one of my friends who has bipolar and has attempted suicide. So she is the right person to talk to about my issues.

I find it hard to trust anyone with authority (teachers, therapists) now because of her lack of confidentiality. I feel like I have no control over what is told to my parents and what is held confidential. This is because what you said, ' My psychologists have told me that everything is confidential, they only seek outside help if they believe you are a danger to yourself, danger to others, or are in danger due to an abuser.' is exactly the same as what she said to me. I thought self harm, especially since it wasn't even a major problem at the time, would still be considered information to keep confidential. Many people have said that when they told someone about it, it wasn't told to their parents. Most people have said that the only thing that has to be said is if you are suicidal and are going to do it in the near future. So I'm 100% confused as to the limits of the confidentiality agreement now.