[NextToNormal]

I don't know where else to put this if I can't talk about being suicidal. I'm not currently, so maybe they'll let me post this.

I don't consider myself a suicidal person. My opinion on suicide is that it's pointless. We're all going to be dead eventually anyway. Though sometimes I have a hard time convincing myself of that.

Last night though... I just wanted to be dead so bad. I even SI'd which I haven't done in a long while, unless you count getting drunk all the time. I tried to post something last night that was stopped. I'm not even really sure what I said, now.

I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm even bothering to post this. I'm scared though. I've never been this bad. It's been so long since it's been this bad..

[Phoobear]

Hi am scared to. I am struggling to try and not think about it but aren't doing great. I am scared of losing everything but i feel so alone and dont know what to do. By keeping busy is actually drowning me and talk about or to think is also drowning me

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by NextToNormal

I've never been this bad. It's been so long since it's been this bad..

Do you currently feel unsafe? Do you know how to reach emergency services or a crisis line if necessary?

You are close to finishing your associates degree, yes? Does your school offer counseling?

so sorry you had such a bad night!

hope tonight will be better

[gayleggg]

I've had nights like that. I used to SI, too. Keep emergency numbers close at hand. Also, you need to quit drinking. Alcohol is a depressant and will make you feel worse than before. You are self medicating. Are you seeing a psychiatrist? If not, you might want see one. I hope you get to feeling better soon..

[NextToNormal]

I've only called an emergency number once. They started talking and I just hung up. I'm not good at talking about stuff like this... At least in person.

I see a therapist for the first time since I was 16 on Thursday morning. I'm definitely panicking about it... I don't really want to go anymore.