[Bugeaud]

Hi there. I've been depressed for about 4 years. This school year, I decided to try and make some friends. But it's just not going too well. I met this one guy, and we hit it off really well. But he's a super outgoing guy, and I have social anxiety. So I feel really self conscious when I'm around him, even threatened. I don't mean to feel this way but it's how I feel.
I tried to make friends with some people who I thought I might relate with, some quieter people. But as it turns out, making friends with quiet people isn't exactly easy or quick. So I don't even know what I'm left with here. I started off this year good, but now I feel like I'm back at square one.
I went on a date with this girl, and it went really bad. I tried to say hi to her since, but she ignored me. And that just made me feel like a total idiot. I don't even know what to do with my life. Sometimes I just think about ending it.
I used to have brief reactive psychosis (maybe I still do), which means I had psychotic hallucinations due to stress. That's sort of when I lost my gf and best friend. I mean before that, I was always shy, but I had a lot of friends back then. But after that, I was really scared of people. Now I'm trying just to pick myself back up after all these years, and somedays, I feel like just giving up. I don't really have anybody to talk to who would understand me.

[Sadley]

Hi Bugeaud, and welcome to PC. There are a lot of understanding people here you can talk to. I can totally relate to your problem. I have been depressed for most of my life (I'm 23 years old now). I've always been extremely shy and a loner. I tried to make friends but everyone just ignores me or disappears completely. I recently thought I made some friends in an IOP that I had attended, but I have been trying for months now to get back in contact with them with no response. It really makes me sad because I really thought we had some good times together, but I guess it was fake.

Anyways, yes I agree that making friends with shy people is not an easy task. Usually if you're quiet you need to find people that can understand you, but are more outgoing and can basically give you a voice. When I was in high school, there was a girl that I really liked and she understood me and she gave me a "voice". She was the only person in my life that I felt I really connected with. I tried to ask her out but I forgot to get an item for her to show that I was a provider, and she declined.

I also haven't a clue what to do with my life. I've never had any psychosis so I don't know what that is like but it must be really hard to deal with. But listen to this: The fact that you had friends at one time means that you CAN do it again! It is possible for you, you just need to get brave and apply yourself. As for me, I've never really had any friends to speak of. I've never had a girlfriend. So you're better off than I am in that regard. Just know you can do it again if you try. I wish you the best.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Bugeaud.

Did you receive care for the brief reactive psychosis? Are you currently in treatment for anything?

[Bugeaud]

Nah, I haven't ever received any treatment for any mental problems of mine. I guess my psychosis was part of the reason I withdrew from society for about 2 years. I guess I should've went to see a doctor a long time ago, but it's always scared me. I sort of want to do psychotherapy, but my family is very poor. I live with my mom, and two brothers. She works for minimum wage. I am alright with my dad, but my dad also has his own wife and my sister, and he works for minimum wage as well. Which is $10.33 an hour here. So I guess that's something which has always been tough. We always have more than enough to eat, and enough for Christmas. But not much else besides that. Most of the things I own, either got passed down, or I worked for them.