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#1
Oct 20, 2013, 11:24 AM
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Hello everyone,
I don't know what's going on with me exactly. Every fall, I feel like I'm on the verge of committing suicide. (I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder a while back.. i'm starting to think, I'm more depressed than Bipolar) I can't stop feeling like this. I constantly feel shaky(Emotionally) and I feel bad all the year around but it's just dring fall\winter, I become very down.. and very suicidal. I also don't have a boyfriend(this makes me really bitter) and I have very few friends. When I was in my late teens, I got raped. (It was also sometime in fall) I don't know if that's also related to my suicidal thoughts or not (I've been having these thoughts even before I got raped.) I don't know what is the exact cause of my suicidal thoughts. Please help. I can't afford to go to a therapist right now (financially) and I'm not on any meds.(I don't want to be.) I just want to be able to solve my problems on my own. |
 Anonymous100108
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#2
Oct 20, 2013, 11:48 AM
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Have you spoken to your pdoc about the possibility of Seasonal Affective Disorder?
People with it are very affected by seasons. Most common is winter. (Though being affected by Spring, Summer, or Fall is not unheard of) It could be related to what happened. That's worth bringing up, too. I just read the last sentence after typing that. Sorry.  But, you can find more about SAD here:Psych Central - About the Winter Blues (Seasonal Affective Disorder) ETA: I don't know where you live, but here in NC, I was able to get in on what is called state appointed insurance. Many places will do sliding scales (or even see you free of charge) depending on income level. We're below poverty line, so I'm able to be seen free. It's worth looking into. The only thing I have to pay for are my meds, and I get discounts there because of income level + shopping around. Aw darn. Saudi Arabia. Hm. Might be something around there, too? Worth looking into, anyway. Wishing you the best.
__________________
Love is.. OSFED|MDD/PPD|GAD|gender dysphoria|AvPD a baby smiling at you for the first time a dog curling up by your side... and your soulmate kissing your forehead when he thinks you're sound asleep |
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#3
Oct 20, 2013, 07:52 PM
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Hello & Welcome, Piscesgurly.
You have been through much. By all means, follow Bronzeowl's suggestion to investigate Seasonal Affective Disorder. Also, you may find value in visiting other forums here, particularly As much as you wish to overcome these struggles on your own, at some point you may need a doctor or at least an ally. Please stay safe.
__________________
My dog  mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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