[NextToNormal]

Since my last post, I think I experienced a hypomanic episode (first one, maybe?), I've re-adopted an addiction to cutting, and my mother knows that I'm once again in a bad place. Fun times had by all right!? I don't want to make a big wall-of-text post like I usually do though...

For now I'm posting because I'm wondering if anyone else can feel a really bad depressive episode about to happen? For most of the day I've been terrified... trying to distract myself from the inevitable, but for the most part unable to... I felt okay today, really. Except for that one gut-wrenching thought that I'm plowing towards a cliff. Things might have been okay, but I knew soon I'd go over... and here it is...

[themonster7]

I always feel it coming on a day or two before it hits. I just start feeling heavy and sighing a lot, and then one intrusive though will come in but I can will it away. Then little by little more start. And then the episode hits.

[NextToNormal]

Originally Posted by themonster7

I always feel it coming on a day or two before it hits. I just start feeling heavy and sighing a lot

I guess this must be an anxiety thing but I started getting really jumpy, everything made me freak today... a leaf, lots of text in the chatroom, its hard to explain.... I just want to disappear... why can't I not be here.

[themonster7]

Originally Posted by NextToNormal

why can't I not be here.

I was asking myself that same question all day.

I get the anxiety thing, I've had days like that. Sorry, hope this depressive episode is just a fluke and you're just having a bad day.

Can I feel it coming??? ABSOLUTELY. Not 100%, but way more than 1/2 the time. It starts with a foggy head most times, other times it is a physical pain - And if the depression is going to be a real bad one - the "fog" hits me HARD a few hours (1-2 hours, never more than 12 hours) before the "fun" begins.