i need help

this may be a lil long but I really need help

i am 15 years old living in india... i have been feeling like this more than 4 months now. i feel that i am a burden and a trouble for my family.. we are currently going through a financial problem and are in dept.. whenever i want money my father makes an irritated face. though he gives me the money but then too i feel he gave it unwillingly. there are fights in my familyand i am really scared of those.. its like everyone is shouting and cursing.. yes cursing.. once my friend visited my house and we had to go somewhere.. i asked my father for permission and he cursed me in front of my friend.. my brothers( i have 2 younger brothers )are always finding ways to get me in trouble and they also use abusing words for me.. and they also beat me.. i spend most of my time crying, sleeping and searching help online.. i have never used any forum or somehing in which i have to tell my problem.. i took the depression test here and the result was severe depression. the matters in school are no better. i have no friends.. like really no single person whom i can call friend.. and there are some boys who spread roumers about me due to which everybody thinks i am a *****. the 'poppular' girls make fun of me.. i had 2 best friends but then they moved to being a part of poppular crowd and forget me. i am above average in studies but i think in this semester my grades are going to fall because i am not able to concentrate on studying.. i have tried pushing myself to read but it just doesnt help. my father is over protective sometimes.. i a not allowed to talk to boys, go out of my house on my own,i can't shut the door of "my room".. which isnt really my room, i am not allowed to use "my phone" according to my will.. everyday of my school is horrible and i have tried asking my parents to allow me to change my school but.. NOT ALOWED.. they think i am just complaining.. i have to spend FOUR more ****ing years in this ****ing school after which i am not sure if my father will allow me to even study in the university of my choice.. i wanna go somewhere far away like china, malaysia, uae.. europe and america are just not the option because they're too expensive.. my future seem hopeless.. once my father said if i want to go to university of my own choice then i have to collect money myself which is just not possible beause here in india we cant just go to a cafe or a mall and ask for job.. people will think i am mad.. i have tried searching online but nothing came up.. cureently i have just Rs 500 which i got as a gift on my bithday i really need money.. i am from india and the language is hindi so i can't give tutions because no body wants to learn hindi.. going out and meeting new people is also not an option because i am not allowed.. i need help.. please

Hello & Welcome, Ammarah. I am sorry you are in this situation. If you feel unsafe, you may be able to talk to someone through Befrienders International. I hope you could use your phone if things become very bad for you.

Is there anyone at your school - a counselor, a favourite teacher, a nurse - to whom you could safely and privately talk about what you are experiencing?

Please keep posting as your situation allows.