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Old Nov 02, 2013, 02:33 PM
Anonymous37954
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Hi. I have been suffering with depression for about 8 years. I am doing okay, I guess. I am not the same as I was before all of this started. I remember (barely) that I had a zest for living and my days went by with a smile (both metaphorically and literally) and anticipation. I never led a particularly thrilling life, but I liked it.
But now, even though my depression is not crushing, (I am on Wellbutrin and I have Xanax for anxiety, but seriously Xanax it has NO effect on me) it's a different kind of life. It's more like existing and any happiness is fleeting during the day. Basically, "yay. I got through another day".
I really, really miss how I was and a day doesn't go by where I don't think about it. I don't think that it makes things worse to do this because I would like to have a goal. But it seems as if I am mourning something. And the memory of what I was like is slowly disappearing.

I was wondering if anybody else could relate

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  #2  
Old Nov 02, 2013, 04:23 PM
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Rohag Rohag is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sophiesmom View Post
It's more like existing and any happiness is fleeting during the day. ...the memory of what I was like is slowly disappearing.
Yes. I can distinctly relate. In my case, the meds and/or the depression itself reduce my ability to care about just existing and losing a sense of my former self.
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  #3  
Old Nov 02, 2013, 06:29 PM
Anonymous37954
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Originally Posted by Rohag View Post
Yes. I can distinctly relate. In my case, the meds and/or the depression itself reduce my ability to care about just existing and losing a sense of my former self.
I can't tell you how deeply I miss my former self. It's almost an illness in itself....I wish I didn't remember, in a way.

Thanks for relating.
Hugs from:
Rohag
  #4  
Old Nov 02, 2013, 06:53 PM
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ToeJam ToeJam is offline
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I can't personally say that I ever had a zest for life... Though I miss the robust 'to hell with the consequences' approach to things that I had in my childhood before it was essentially battered out of me... That I do mourne

It raises up occasionally, but is very diluted in comparison.
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