[Jolisse]

I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for over 20 yrs. Most of the time, it's the anxiety symptoms that are present. Within the past week, I've been very depressed.So much so, that I'm scaring myself with the feelings that I have.
I have a pdoc and a therapist, but I'm afraid to contact them for the fear of going to the hospital.
I have highs and low through out the day and my thoughts are very strange, I feel like I'm going insane.
I've been taking my meds and nothing has happened to cause this horrific sadness.
I don't want to tell my husband, because he worries. I so tired of this and just want it to end.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way! I really do think you should tell your T and your pdoc..there may be something up with the meds if the strength of your depression and anxiety is more than the usual. I know your're concerned about worrying your husband, but he may already have noticed something...it may be worrying him more not to be sure if he's correct, if you've noticed or if he's imagining it. Please don't feel you're alone!! No one who comes on this site is ever, really alone.

We're always here for you.

[jesusplay]

my response to your thread title.

but seriously. Occupy yourself with something, that help me depression and anxiety when I focus on something.

[missminnie]

I think you should talk to your doctor about switching your meds, it may help you feel better. I know people who have to switch their meds every so often for them to actually work. And you should share this with your husband, he only worries about you because he cares and he loves you,

I hope you feel better, if you need anything or to talk, feel free to message me

feel better

[Charl S]

Originally Posted by Jolisse

I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for over 20 yrs. Most of the time, it's the anxiety symptoms that are present. Within the past week, I've been very depressed.So much so, that I'm scaring myself with the feelings that I have.
I have a pdoc and a therapist, but I'm afraid to contact them for the fear of going to the hospital.
I have highs and low through out the day and my thoughts are very strange, I feel like I'm going insane.
I've been taking my meds and nothing has happened to cause this horrific sadness.
I don't want to tell my husband, because he worries. I so tired of this and just want it to end.

What about going to hospital scares you?

[catsrhelm]

I say contact at least your PDoc. You could be mismedicated.

[Pierro]

Yes agreed. Contact your Pdoc. Maybe your meds need to be upped or changed. The worst thing about going into hospital is the thought of it. You might not even have to go. Best wishes

[Jolisse]

Thank you for all your responses.
I've tried so many different meds, I've lost count. I feel there is more going on then just depression and anxiety, I feel like I'm going crazy.
I did talk to my husband over the weekend and he was very supportive. I see my T this week and will discuss this with her.
I've heard horror stories about going to the hospital and to be honest, I'm scared.
I'm use to the feelings of anxiety and have meds that help, it's the depression that is freaking me out. I haven't felt this bad, since this whole thing started 20 yrs. ago.
I feel I'm moving backwards, after so many years of moving forward.
I thank everyone for the support. I feel better knowing I'm not alone in this!

[Idealsummerluvv]

I hope you are feeling better.
I think it is usually better to let things out, rather than hold them inside.

[ann1969]

Have you been hospitalized before? If you had a bad experience then I could see why you would be afraid of going. If you haven't, please don't be afraid. I would tell your doctors and if they do recommend you go inpatient, even for a few days, I would do it. It may just surprise you and you'll feel much better! Don't be afraid! Stay strong my friend! hugs to you.

[reesecups]

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so bad. In my experience of about 35 years of depression, you can be honest with your therp and shrink. But be aware, if they feel you are a danger to yourself or others they are legally obligated to do something. I told my therapist a few times that I was feeling suicidal. She did not force me to go to a hospital. But she did speak to me and promised if I would do something to help stabilize myself, that she could help me afterward. I made the personal decision to have myself hospitalized for a few days. The hospital actually transferred my care to a partial hospitalization program. I didn't like it for a long time, but I've adjusted to the point that it has helped me. And yes, my therp is able to help me better. Good luck. I know it's scary and it's an unknown, but you have to trust that someone knows what they are doing.

Take care and good luck.

I'm sorry you're feeling so much torment right now. I don't really have that much experience outside my own dealings with anxiety and depression. I do believe depression can sort of evolve and morph... show somewhat different symptoms of time. Has your doc ever mentioned agitated depression?

Your craziness helps me understand more about my craziness we may have the same thing.

I get periods of extreme hyperactivity and anxiety for short periods of time which has been going on for 5 years but when I was having a very bad time about a year ago, it was constant I remember sitting on the floor for 1-2 hours a few times with delusions, then eventually I started hearing voices and didn't see it as a problem until the nurses and doctors pointed it out when I went to the hospital for being suicidal.

It's like you are so depressed that the body goes nuts and tries to get you out of reality so you don't have to deal with it like PTSD victims develop MPD to escape from trauma i dunno.. what a wild guess..

Suicide is also a coping mechanism = suicidal ideation