[snarfy]

I am so sad.It sucks knowing that I am right about whats happening in my home but no one else wants to see it.I am angry that my stepdaughter ,her boyfreind & their baby live with us(me & my wife).I get angry because the boyfreind in his 20's makes about 500 $ a week yet only pays 50$ a week to live here. Food lodging cablr TV highspeed internet access etc..all for 50 bucks a week.Hell when we are broke after paying all the bills electric alone over 400 $ a month .Dude never pitches ion for household stuff food soda toiletries etc..uses & eats the food we buy.never once offerd to even get a gallon of milk or 12 pk soda.If we run out were out.We may be %#@&#! broke after bills etc..But dude only one in house with $$ cause no bills really.It really pisses me off.Then last night having a private conversation with my wife Of course being evesdropped on by the daughter,she knocks on the door & tells my wife she heard what I said & throws an attitude like I have no reason for saying to my wife what I said.I gat made out to be the bad guy.I feel like I am totlly justified in my anger & i am soo angry I get the %#@&#! undservedly.I feel like my wife should back me up.Instaed I get thrown under the buss.I feel like just giving up.Ya cant reason with the unreasonable.I am sick of peeps who trat others like no way they would accept being treated >It s like everyone stuck on Stupin mode!! I need help emtional & psychological about this.Am i crazy???

[Meta]

Families are tricky. Stepfamilies are even trickier. I don't know very much about your situation.

I could see my self in your wife's situation. I only have a young daughter, but depending on the circumstances, someday when she has a baby, I would probably love to have her and my grandchild living with me. I had absolutely no help when my daughter was born. My husband worked 80 hours per week.
A grandmother who could help with childcare would have been heavensent, especially since I had unexpected injuries resulting from labor and delivery..
If my daughter has a husband, however, what he was like would be a factor. Maybe I couldn't tolerate the situation. I would have to weigh it carefully.
I guess if all 3 were living with me, I would either want them to pay a proportionate share of the expenses OR pay a small amount with the understanding that the expense money they are saving by living with me goes into savings for their future. Whether it's a house of their own, future rent for an apartment, or my grandchild's college account.

As long as I am alive, my daughter has a home with me. No questions asked. However, in living with me as an adult, she must also exercise responsibility. If she doesn't and I don't insist that would violate MY responsibility as a parent.
Again, I don't know your whole situation, but that is just my take.
Hope it works out for all of you.
Meta

[(JD)]

Tough love is called for in this situation, imo. Give them notice, help them find a place, move, find financial counseling etc. Don't enable this behavior any longer. Your home is YOUR castle (and spouse's) NOT for ppl who don't respect you in the least. IMO TC!

[wanting]

You need to be strong and call a family meeting and air your veiws calmly and in a business like manner.discuss the fact that your stepdaughters partner must pay a proprtionate amound of money towards housekeeping,because the way it is with you struggling to provide is not viable.also mentioning this with the whole family there,he is going to find it hard to disagree b/c he must know he is wrong.or maybe he is just being ignorant and giving the amount he been asked for by your wife so you could have a word in his ear.
Good luck and let us know how you get on and try not to let it get to you .
Barry