[fonglai]

I was just discharged from intensive hospitalization for depression and anxiety along with suicidal ideation and self harm. Tonight was going well until my two and a half year old had a fit about bath and bed. She screamed and my 8 year old and 10 year old were trying to help, but just made it worse. My husband just sat on the couch and played a game on his tablet. I had a melt down because he didn't offer to help and now everyone is scared of me. I don't feel fit for motherhood or to be a good wife. I still think it would be better if I just lived away and alone. I can't handle this. I learned nothing to help me cope. I don't know what to do. Maybe I should just be locked up inpatient somewhere forever. How do other parents here function and deal with kids without losing it?

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[Yoda]

Can you ask your husband to be more supportive and cover your back when you are feeling overwhelmed?

[caseygirl]

I don't have children, however, I have been hospitalized numerous times for major depression and attempted suicide. No one knows what it is like until they have walked in our shoes. Time spent in there is tiring and very dismal.

As a writer, I interviewed some people and it was amazing what people think happens in the hospital. One lady was in the hospital for 3 weeks, finally got her first pass for a weekend, went home for only the Saturday but it just didn't go well. So she returned to the hospital. She called her husband later on, at which time he said his mother called, asked how she was and wondered why she couldn't have at least done some laundry when she was home for those few hours. She was seething when she told me this. I laughed when she said "where did this woman think I was, in some resort sipping cocktails by the pool!"

I just don't know what advice to give you, but please take care of yourself, and your husband really has to take some responsibility. Do you have other family members that could maybe watch the kids; you could maybe go to the park, make some time for yourself.

Take care.

Seriously, I can relate. I have a wonderful husband, but when he got home from work, he took over. And I was okay then. I just couldn't do it 24/7 by myself. I know your husband has worked all day, but so have you. You were justified IMHO and don't feel badly about it having meltdowns.
I have been know to go do errands when he got home so that I was away from the house.
Can you get a high school kid to come in for back up in the evening? It's for your own health.

[Yoda]

Originally Posted by caseygirl

As a writer, I interviewed some people and it was amazing what people think happens in the hospital. One lady was in the hospital for 3 weeks, finally got her first pass for a weekend, went home for only the Saturday but it just didn't go well. So she returned to the hospital. She called her husband later on, at which time he said his mother called, asked how she was and wondered why she couldn't have at least done some laundry when she was home for those few hours.

[fonglai]

I cried and told him he needed to help me. He said something about not knowing what to do and feeling incompetent. I told him he needed to at least check on me when he hears me struggling.

Part of our problem is that it's just us. My family lives 700 miles away and his is just not close and not there to help. I wish I could afford a high school kid.

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[Pierro]

Fonglai, I can relate to you so much. I too have 3 children and they are wonderfull but I feel like going off in the car and not coming back. I too am married but my husband works in the evening and I feel like a lone parent. Your husband needs to realise that you have just came out of hospital and you need all the support you can get. Sometimes I think husbands feel they are in the way, and other times they use that as an excuse not to help. I know my doctor talked to my husband about this. We as women are more tuned into when people are struggling and men have to be told. They just dont pick up on it even if the kids are screaming and you are having a meltdown. I wish you all the best and you can message me anytime.

[fonglai]

Pierro, my husband works nights and has class 2 nights a week so I know he's got a lot on his plate too. It's just so hard. My youngest is crying right now and I just want to leave.

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[fonglai]

My husband just told me that we are going to another family's house to watch the ufc fight tonight. We used to be pretty close to this other family, but they don't know what's going on with me and I don't feel like acting normal. I just want to watch tv and then go to bed. He knows now that I don't want to go, but he's already committed and we're on our way. It would look bad if I got out of it some way. So we're on our way and I'm drinking a strong alcoholic beverage on the way and have my xanax ready. Ugh. I hope I can muster up the strength to make it through this.

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[too SHy]

You just got out of the hospital and saddled with 3 kids? Your husband should have stepped up, you are still fragile.

[fonglai]

I am fragile!! He feels bad since I cried the way, but I'm rummed up and on a couple of xanax now. He said he thought I was better, but I clarified things for him and he knows that I'm f*cking p*ssed off at him. I still want to go home, but I'm detaching and zoning out.

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[fonglai]

I want to go back to the hospital :-(

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