[LadyDragus]

it has been a long time since I posted on this site, but I just did not feel like i needed it, well lately I feel like I need something and cant find what it is.

I thought i had made some new freinds online and now they are all turning away from me like all the ones in my real life.

Just because I am sad, does not mean I am not good to be around?? I feel so lost, some say it is post partum deperssion, but I just do not know, I try my hardest to feel better but I cant, I catn stop thinking of the things I am doing wrong, not being a good mom, a good wife any of that..

I just do nto know what to do anymore. I try to keep my sid of the house clean and I fail at it . I fail at taking care of my kids, I push them off on someoen esel when ever I can becuse I do not have the engery to do anything anymore.. Today is one of those days where I just want to die or crul up in a hole and trow dirt in on top of myself..

I do not want to live anymore

[(JD)]

<font color="blue"> oh my dragon!!! Yes it does sound like postpartum depression, get yourself to your doctor QUICK! While having a baby is exhausting and fretful, it really can be a wonderful experience and time of your life!! Don't be missing the good stuf here, lady!!! Go do it...get some medicine to help you, and enjoy your life!

[LadyDragus]

well that takes money to buy your depersson meds something I do not have any of..

I lost my insurance on Sept 30 so I am out of my meds..

[(JD)]

This won't get better with time, Lady. Beg or borrow from someplace or someone. The sooner you do this, the less time you might have to be on them, thus saving you money in the long run (not to mention suffering!)

At LEAST call your doctor???

[LadyDragus]

i did and went by to see him yesterday, he had no samples and all of our credit cards are maxed out with having to buy food..

I just do not have anywhere else to turn..
I have applied for those paitent assitance programs with the local hosptial but they said it would be sometime in November before I got any new meds....

SO all I can do is hope i will get them then

[(JD)]

hmmm have you contacted the manufacturers of the antidepressants themselves directly? (Not doubting your efforts, just trying to think of something)

[LadyDragus]

yes I have.. no luck they say there are too many other ways for me to get them with the programs in mo.. So I am out of luck I take one pill a day just to cope so I am on at least soemthign and I am almost out.. Again..

I will most likley have to put it on a credit card again

[Fuzzybear]

[constant10]

This sounds real tough, cant you go to your local hospital and their psych center, usually once they see you may harm yourself they offer assistance right away.

Take care!

[LadyDragus]

that would be nice but I have two childern both under the age of 4 and I cant leave them alone.. If I do, I may lose my oldest forever..

So i hvae to suffer, i just wanted a place to talk to others... Thank you all for listening

[wisewoman]

Do I remember that your mother had some custody of your oldest? Or am I confused? I know how crippling depression can be but I also know that you have to find some way to get your meds or it will get much worse. My doc specifically ordered the samples I needed when I was without insurance. Also, if you are on one of the older meds that they don't promote anymore you may have to change to an upgraded version. Please call the doc and ask him if he can get the meds for you as it really is life and death! What are you taking?

[LadyDragus]

my mother does have custody of my oldest but I have 3 childern now, a four year old girl and a 14 week old baby boy.. I have both of them living with me

[wisewoman]

Okay, thought I remembered something. Do you think you can ask your Doc about getting samples or switching to a newer med that has samples? I survived like that for months. Also the pharmacist gave me a ridiculous price an PROZAC, I said forget it and miraculously they found a supplier and I got it for half of what they had been asking. Prozac, c'mon guys...